NT 020 - Killer Android

hello everybody yay we are

recording in my living room

normally we would be walking or

something but

there are well really without

complaining about the cold

which it's around 20 degrees

fahrenheit

which isn't terrible although

warm the the mornings the

mornings have been like

starting off at negative

one negative two negative seven

the primary reason we can't

walk is there was just this

small little

snowstorm last weekend and it

dumped just under two feet of

snow depending on area so

anywhere from 14

inches to 20 inches across the

state of connecticut and that

means that the paths that we

normally walk

down no and even better you

think well hey what about an

indoor place well the only

indoor place i could

think of where we could walk

and talk is the mall and

unfortunately at the mall if

you're walking and

talking with recording devices

uh security takes notice of

that and tends to reject you

from the

premises or rather eject you

from the premises because they

don't want patrons being

recorded

even if it's not on video like

they will so yeah we're

recording in the living room

and uh it it may

may or may not sound better or

worse whatever i i do know i

won't be breathing as heavily i

don't think

yay yay yay yay after we

recorded last episode kit

brought something up to me and

uh kit i'd like you to

go ahead and explain your

concern uh it's it's not non-topical

it's not non-topical and what

what he means is that

no don't get me wrong we're

good at what we do i still

think that that hollywood will

eventually

take us up on our deals that

said the point of the show was

not necessarily to focus on any

one thing

to really just be free to

discuss whatever and we fell

into a groove where coming up

with movie ideas just

sort of happened and it's great

and it's a lot of fun but if

that's what we're trying to do

all the time

then it's more of a focused

show versus a whatever the heck

we feel like talking about show

yeah

and because of that it's not to

say that we won't ever fall

into that groove again it's a

fun groove for us

we like being creative and

coming up with stuff like that

we're going to try to keep

things a little

bit more scattered and to base

things a little bit more on

different ideas and

conversations and that

may mean that there'll be some

shorter episodes rather than

the 30 minutes to an hour that

you

normally receive that doesn't

mean that there's going to be

any less work for us we're

still going

to probably be recording

several things at once over the

period of an hour or two and

then dividing it up differently

so

so what's been on your mind kit

what what what is it that i do

have anything to talk about

yeah it's just a lot of like

mostly what's on my mind is a

lot of life stuff going on that

is

probably not fit for podcasting

just because it's the same

things that adults typically

worry about

you know work relationships

money downsizing stuff planning

for the future all that type of

stuff

not exactly the the greatest

content for a podcast although

it is stuff that we could talk

about

but i thought that you had some

specific ideas in terms of uh

some some questions or

conversation starters

well i have questions

okay what would you do if an

android assassin were after you

okay we have a lot of things

that we have to pre-establish

for this

uh it it's not just so simple

as to say an android because

throughout the history of

science fiction

there are many different types

of androids i mean we have to

first of all i would presume

regardless of the form of the

android that it is physically

superior in terms of strength

at minimum

yeah intellectually superior is

different if it's smarter than

you if it's more intelligent

then it's going to be very

difficult of a scenario we also

have to figure out in terms of

android

what type of android are we

talking from a physical

perspective not just in

strength but are we talking

original terminator are we

talking terminator 2 where it's

made of liquid metal and can

change into

anything are we talking blade

runner where the only way that

you can tell that this thing is

an android

is by administering an obscure

test and observing the eyes

really closely and all of that

and those

androids actually look more

like humans and they only live

for if i remember correctly

three years

and they are superior strength

wise but they're not

necessarily superior

intellectual wise also are

these androids connected to a

hive mind of some sort are they

constantly connected to the

internet

or is their brain self-contained

because if they're constantly

connected to the internet then

they could

tap into government resources

they could tap into traffic

cameras they could tap into

rather

bank atm cameras ring doorbells

the whole nine yards so i need

you to better flesh out the

enemy here so uh

is humanoid looking, but it's

still clearly an android

because humans are egotistical

and stuff.

So maybe its skin is like

slightly off color, kind of

like Data from Star Trek Next

Generation?

I mean, and you can see its

joints, like it's not...

Okay, so the skin isn't like

perfect, you can actually see

like the polymer plastic type

outer skin sort of.

So we're talking like kind of

like the iRobot movie look

where it's like the white

plastic type thing?

I mean probably more metallic.

Okay, but does it have like a

humanoid face or is it just

completely blank? It does, but

it can't like express mouth

movement as much.

Okay, so it's basically... It

also doesn't have eyebrows.

So, alright, so you're talking

like a metal or plastic face

that has just kind of things

that look like eyes,

a facsimile of a nose, and a

facsimile of a mouth that may

or may not light up when it's

talking.

Yeah.

Okay.

It can like open to a square

shape probably, but like that's

about it.

So basically like C-3PO.

Yeah, it does kind of look like

C-3PO actually now that I think

about it.

I mean, but probably cleaner.

Like probably, you know. Okay.

So we've established the look

of this thing. So it cannot run

or move smoothly. It is a bit janky.

Uh, it's pretty smooth actually.

It's pretty smooth. You can see

its joints, but like they're

close to human joints.

So it does not move like C-3PO.

It moves like a human.

Yeah.

Okay.

Maybe even better than a human

because it can optimize that.

All right. So we've established

that. Intelligence.

Uh, I mean it's smarter than a

human in some ways, but it also

can't like feel any emotions or

anything because it's still a

robot.

So it doesn't really have a

sixth, well not even a sixth

sense, but you know how like

with humans we can sometimes

sense that something's off.

Like we could sense there's a

trap being set up for us.

Yeah. All it can do is like

scan around and base

practically and think

practically what you can do,

but it can't think emotionally

what you're going to do.

All right.

All the time. It can try. It

can like mimic, but it doesn't

understand it.

Okay. And in terms of

connection into hive mind slash

internet resources slash the

entire network of the world,

is it connected or does it have

to physically go to a computer

and it's limited to access that

a human would have?

Uh, it's self-contained, but it

probably has like a couple of

ports in its head or somewhere

on its body to connect to

certain things.

But it would have to physically

connect to them. Yeah. It's not

like Starlink. Yeah. And it

would also be like vulnerable

to very specific virus. Like if

you built a virus specifically

to attack it, that could

possibly get past it.

All right. So we've established

the type of android. How about

the world that we're living in?

Is it just normal world or is

this some kind of future world?

Is it apocalypse?

Considering the character that

I'm basing this off of that I

came off with, uh, cyberpunk-ish

type world. Okay. So we're

technologically advanced. Okay.

I have to ask this. Do we or do

we not have flying cars?

Uh, probably not. Okay. But

like marginally more commercial

flying things. Okay. So

basically giant cityscapes,

lots of neon or LED lights,

lots of advertising, um, city

streets. Robotic modifications

of body. Okay. Stuff like that.

Okay. All right. And last but

not least, why?

Why is this android after? Oh,

oh wait, I didn't think about

this. Weapons. Uh, does the

android have any inbuilt

hardware? Uh, inbuilt? Or built

in whatever. Yeah. Does it?

Built in? Yeah. Does it have

any weapons or does it have to

acquire weapons?

I mean, it can probably replace

its hands if it wanted to. Well,

want in quotations. If it would

be efficient to. Uh, it might

have like a laser pointer or a

blacklight or something in its

finger. But aside from that, it's

just physically strong because

it's made of metals.

All right. So it's not like it

has, um, machine gun or laser

gun. It, it, it, it, it, yeah,

probably not.

Oh, all right. All right. That

would be a little ridiculous.

Okay. And it obviously can't

shape shift. It has specific

form. All right. So last but

not least, on top of the

weapons and all of that stuff.

So we've got our setting. We've

got the, the enemy. What have I

done?

That this thing is coming after

me. Who have I upset that they've

sicked this thing on me? Or

what have I done to, even

though it doesn't have emotions,

offend its personal, like, uh,

protocols as such that I

present a threat to it that it

need, that it can then go past

the whole not allowed to harm

humans rule and is coming after

me.

Uh, I mean, it's, it's an

assassin. So if, if you, if you

talk to the wrong people and

upset them, you never know. You

never really know.

All right. So this is a robot

that's specifically designed as

an assassin. And if it came

across a machine gun or a

sniper rifle, it would know how

to use it with deadly precision.

Yeah. And it probably already

has like a gun or two. All

right. So this is, this is like

a military robot or something

like that. Like that has been

repurposed.

This was like a soldier type

robot. And then they got reprogrammed

by somebody to become an

assassin.

Yeah, sort of. Okay. All right.

So we have an assassin robot

coming after me in a dystopian

city like world.

Run by big corporate. Run by

big corporate. So chances are,

knowing myself and knowing my,

my current attitude towards

corporate environments, chances

are that I said or did

something related to the

corporation I'm part of.

And somebody was monitoring

something and decided that I

pose a threat to the bottom

line in a significant way, or I

pose a threat to the corporate

workplace. Like I might be that,

that one bad apple, that one

guy that's going to cause

everyone else to rise up

against the corporate mentality.

Like I've been having meetings

where like, I've been getting

people to, to start to, to, you

know, say, Hey, there might be

a better way of doing things

where it's not just about

making money, but it's also

about bringing general

happiness to people as well.

And that we should all have a

good work-life balance and that

we should all have a good work-life

balance and all that. Okay. So

that is my presumption at this

point.

They've been monitoring my, my

next generation of Microsoft

teams conversations. And the,

the CEO has taken a look at

this and been like, no, we can't

fire him because that'll just

be like a token.

And you know, everybody will

rise up. If we fire him, he's

got to be dead and it has to

look normal. So we've, we've

got the rationale behind

everything.

I am not a fighter. I am not a

superhero. I am not somebody

who is a soldier of any type. I

have not fired any weapons.

So what do I do once I, well,

first of all, I, I think there

has to be a moment where I

discover that this Android is

coming after me.

And I mean, it doesn't just

show up or maybe it does. So

maybe I'm sitting in the cubicle

at work, although I work from

home a lot.

So does it show up at my door

or does it show up at work?

Even so, I'm like kind of stuck.

Like I'm a normal human. I am

Joe Q human. I am not, I am not

military trained. I am not.

I mean, that depends on if you

have any cybernet modifications

or not.

Look, look, I, no, I am, I am

being myself here.

I'm going to be myself because

the question is, what would I

do if Assassin Android is

coming after me?

Yeah. Uh, there, there is one

detail about its appearance

that I didn't say and that's,

uh, its size glow.

Okay. Well, I mean, it, evil

robot. So, I mean, not

necessarily evil, but.

Just glow any color. Doesn't

have to be like stereotypically

evil.

So, I'm going to base this as

if I'm living in a similar

apartment style, but in a

building in a city.

With two doors. So, I have two

exits.

I have no weapons.

And I have a moderate amount of

computer skills.

And could pick up programming

if I needed to.

The building also would

probably have an alarm because

it's the future.

The future. Okay.

So, for the sake of argument,

let's say that I have the next

generation of ring doorbell or

whatever.

Robot shows up at my doors,

which both are normally locked.

Yeah.

I'm not expecting a package or

anything.

And I'm going to presume that I

know what package delivery

robots look like compared to

whatever the hell this thing is.

So, I don't know why this thing

is here.

But I can readily see that this

is not a robot that should be

coming to my location.

So, I'm not going to answer the

door.

But it's going to start banging

on the door.

And possibly take out a gun and

try to shoot out the locks.

So, at that point, I'm going to

be calling the authorities

while taking the other way out

to get to my car and to get

away.

So, I'm calling the authorities.

I'm going outside.

I'm giving a description of

this thing.

I'm forwarding them the footage.

Because that's basically all I

can do at this point.

Knowing 911 and the way it

operates today, I'm going to

presume that it would operate

similarly.

Unless, of course, it's owned

by the same corporation that I

work for.

Of course.

In this case, it's going to get

cut off.

Or it's not going to get

reported properly.

Regardless, I'm driving away.

Because by the time robot busts

in, I will be gone.

Even if you try to shoot out

the locks, even with robot

precision, that's going to take

a shot or two.

Because locks are not

necessarily as easy to blow out

as people think.

Not to mention the fact that my

neighbors are going to hear

this thing pounding on my door

and shooting.

And it's going to attract

attention to itself.

I mean, unless it doesn't shoot.

Well, even so.

You hear loud banging on a door

and hear the sound of splintering.

That's going to attract some

attention.

I'm sorry.

As much as I don't have a

direct, like, great rapport

with my neighbors and stuff.

I'm pretty sure if something

crazy was going down, everybody

would be poking their heads out

and being like, what the heck

is going on?

But meanwhile, I'm getting the

heck out of Dodge.

So I'm driving off.

Obviously, once this thing

discovers I'm gone, it's going

to try to follow me.

But logically, what I'm going

to do is I'm going to go to the

not corporate police.

I'm going to go to the police

that are not the corporate

influenced ones.

Because I'm going to presume

there is a standard police

force still in place.

Yeah.

So I'm going to go there.

Military police force convo.

Fine.

And I'm going to show them the

footage.

And my presumption is that they're

going to be like, well, this

thing is not going to stop.

So we're going to take you into

protective custody.

And I'm going to be like, I'm

totally fine with that.

And assassin robot being

assassin robot, it's not going

to be so dumb as to go into a

police station and start trying

to get me.

Because a good assassin is not

going to go out in the open and

do things.

You have to make it all clean-like.

It also is going to try to kill

as few people as possible

unless it is more efficient to

kill them.

So my best resource is to go to

the police to show them the

footage that I have in the

hopes that they'll be able to

track down where this thing is

coming from and whatnot.

I know that's the most boringest

of answers.

But as a normal Joe Q human

being, there's not much that I'm

going to be able to do on my

own without the assistance of

higher authorities.

I am not going to be able to

fight this thing on my own.

And I know I'm not going to be

able to fight this on my own.

I'm not stupid.

So in this scenario, that is

like my number one go-to.

Now here's the question.

What if the robot breaks the

camera?

Well, there would still be

enough footage before it breaks

the camera, you would presume.

But even so, I'm still going to

the cops and giving them this

description.

And knowing technology as I do,

that thing had to get to my

apartment somehow.

It had to either walk into the

complex or it had to arrive by

vehicle.

And given that this is a city

and this is a dystopian future,

there are cameras everywhere.

So there's going to be footage

somewhere that can be subpoenaed

with this thing.

Not to mention that while it

might not be connected to a

hive mind and be able to access

the internet all the time,

most robots, military, repurposed,

or otherwise, are going to have

some sort of tracking

associated with them.

They might try to mask it.

And given this is an assassin

robot, so chances are it would

be very difficult to determine.

But they're still going to give

off some kind of sensor

readings to something,

regardless.

Yeah.

And chances are it's going to

have some kind of unique

signature based upon the

processors or GPUs inside of

the thing from an

electromagnetic perspective.

Yeah.

So it's the boring ass answer.

But my best bet is the cops.

Now, if you presume all cops

are owned by corporate

influence, where do I go next?

So if all cops are owned by the

same corporate influence, the

next thing that I might

consider is I would not go to

government directly because

senators and such are probably,

again, owned by corporations.

So my next best bet is probably

the military.

Even though the military is

owned by the government, the

military might not be

completely co-opted by

corporation.

Now, if the military is

completely co-opted by

corporation, there are very few

avenues that I have.

If I were to be more optimal

about the military, it might be

like a collective military

between different groups of big

corporates and countries.

So there might be only partial

influence.

Yeah.

All right.

So in that case, if the cops

are owned by corporate and I

know that they are, I will go

to the nearest non-classified

military base and just be like,

look, this is a situation.

I can't go to the cops because

they're owned by, you know, I

fear like this robot's been

sent because of stuff that I've

done with my company.

They're not too happy that, you

know, I'm trying to increase

morale and help people to stand

up for themselves.

So I think they sent this robot

after me.

I can't go to the cops.

Please help me.

And I'm going to hope that the

military can help me at that

point.

Other than that, the only other

thing I can think of that would

be a stereotypical sci-fi plot.

And it's presuming that I

actually have friendships that

go in this circle is I have a

friend that's like, you know,

really conspiracy theorist,

really knows all the technology,

can like hack anything, etc.

But knowing people in real life,

I don't really have any person

in my life like that.

So I can't really fall back on

that, can I?

We're in a fictional situation

and a fictional world here, but

it's a world where I still want

to be rooted in myself.

So I don't want to make up

things that I don't have access

to.

Those are the only options that

I think that I have.

And in the due course of things,

yes, the robot will eventually

try to come after me.

But knowing that, like you said,

it's going to want to injure as

few people as possible and be

as least obvious as possible.

The safest place for me is

either with the police or with

the military.

Because there's a lot of bodies,

a lot of video, and a lot of

security there.

And if that thing then comes

for me, then chances are they're

going to be able to gun it down.

This is not Robocop where you're

going to have Ed whatever its

number is with the giant Gatling

guns.

Or Robocop who is basically indestructible

for the most part.

This is an android that can be

destroyed.

It is stronger than humans, but

when faced by humans that may

have electromagnetic pulse

weapons and other weapons,

chances are it's going to get

taken down.

And when it does get taken down,

presuming that its memory is

not going to get automatically

wiped,

presuming that blowing it up

stops its immediate memory wipe,

then they're going to be able

to get the memory out of the

thing and figure out who hired

it.

At which point, that person

will be taken into custody.

And I will have to presume that

they'll probably eventually

escape because corrupt

corporate society that may or

may not be able to grease the

palms of the courts.

But still, look, I'm going to

be just completely honest.

I will eventually die.

Because if it's that type of

society, even if I go through

appropriate channels, they'll

be able to protect me for a

while.

But eventually, there's just

going to be more and more

sophisticated assassin robots

getting sent after me.

The person that is committing

the crimes against me is going

to have too much power and

influence to be able to be held

to account for their crimes.

So regardless of how many times

I lean on the military or even

if I start working for the

military as a civilian

consultant in the long term,

eventually they're going to

come up with an assassin

android that is going to be

able to evade the cameras,

sneak through the air ducts,

and kill me with some kind of

fast acting poison that won't

leave behind too much residue.

So I know that eventually I am

going to die to these things.

And I know that that's not fun.

But I'm being a realist here.

I could go full sci-fi trope

and be like, oh yeah, I have

all of the John Wick and or

Bourne skills.

I am like an assassin myself.

I can hack anything.

I can, you know, I can slide

down the side of a building

with a pistol in my hand and be

shooting as I'm sliding down

the side of it and somehow

still nail the landing.

But realistically, that's not

who I am.

I've got a left knee that

sometimes acts up.

If I were to like even stick a

landing off of the second story

of a building, I'm still going

to mess up that knee.

I'm going to just be hobbling

away.

This is the real world, like

for me, but in a fictional

scenario.

Even in a fictional scenario

where I know customer service

systems inside and out, let's

say,

and they're the next generation

of customer service systems,

that's not going to help me in

this situation.

Even though I know a little bit

about how to run Python scripts

and things like that, that's

not going to help me in this

situation.

I am going to die unless I'm

protected by people who are

much better equipped to deal

with this than I am.

And unfortunately, even those

people, unless they figure out,

look, the guy who's sticking

people on this poor civilian is

not going to stop unless he's

actually assassinated himself,

which would be kind of against

the law in of itself.

So that's my answer.

I'm going to go to the

competent authorities as best

as I can.

And chances are I'm eventually

going to die unless those

competent authorities can

actually bring this person to

justice who sick these things

upon me.

Yeah, I mean, that's boring.

It's not as fun as what people

want.

Like, they want to hear me

saying, oh, I would take a

baseball bat to the thing's

head until its central

processor shut down.

And then I would download its

memory and figure out who did

this.

And then I would go online and,

like, leak it online with the

full, like, proof in 8K or

whatever it is at that point.

You know, caught in 16K from

the camera on the assassin bot

who it is that told everyone to

assassinate me.

But nobody would believe that

anyway because AI deepfakes

would be so good at that point

that it really doesn't matter.

You know, it would just fall

apart anyway.

Mustless are illegal now.

You never know.

You never know.

But I'm just saying,

realistically, I'm not that

person anyway.

So grounding myself in realism

as to who I am in a fictional

environment, that is how I

would have to react.

There's no getting around it.

Neat.

Like, maybe if I had a crowbar

and it broke in and I had

access to the crowbar, I could

try to bash it.

But chances are it has weapons

with it at that time anyway.

So I hate to say it, but crowbar

does not always beat gun.

I mean, if you're lucky.

Yeah.

And that's how I would approach

it.

I mean, is there anything you

would do differently?

I would just die.

Wow.

You're not even going to try to

evade.

You're just going to be like,

my death's at the door.

I resign myself to this fact.

Kit is at home.

Kit is at home and he sees the

robot show up.

Kit's below the age to drink or

whatever, but he's like, well,

I'm going to go.

So like the robot busts in and

he's just sitting there like

just drinking from the bottle.

The robot kind of looks at him

like, well, aren't you going to

run?

No.

Just let me finish this.

Let me get really drunk first.

And the assassin droid might

just sit there and be like, you

know, that's not going to stop

me from achieving my goals here.

I'll give you the extra 15

minutes to get drunk.

And then so it doesn't hurt as

much.

That's kind of sad, though.

So you wouldn't try to find it

all.

I might, but I don't think I

could.

So you wouldn't.

You wouldn't.

I'm kind of too slow to do

anything.

You wouldn't try to get to a

neighbor at least or try to

call the cops.

Nothing.

No, I'd probably be too slow to

do that.

Wow.

That is sad.

I don't know how else this

react.

I mean, that's just that.

So my reaction.

I'm going to at least try to go

to competent authorities to

help.

Kit's reaction.

I'm just going to sit there and

let it happen.

I'm going to hope that it doesn't

have to torture me first.

There's no information it needs

to extract from me.

I'm just going to sit there,

like, grab a bottle of alcohol

and just, like, let it come.

Wow.

All right, man.

To each their own.

I'm just saying what would be

most likely to happen.

Because it's faster, stronger,

and better than me.

True.

True.

Very true.

But, yeah, so, um, assassin,

android, coming after us.

That's, that's the way we would

deal with it.

You know what you would, you

know what you would do with

your alcohol?

You would have one final cheese

quesadilla.

Yes, sir.

Yeah, absolutely.

So, that would be, that would

be the ultimate end.

Like, Kit sitting there, cheese

quesadilla, bottle of wine,

just drinking from the bottle.

Maybe somehow, for some reason,

he has a cigarette.

Just like, like, I don't know

where you'd get that from.

But, yeah.

That's, that's how Kit wants to

go out to an assassin.

Or an assassin.

He went out enjoying what he

likes.

Cheese quesadillas.

Cheese quesadilla.

Anyway, if you like this

conversation and you like this

slightly different direction,

please let us know.

Feedback@nontopical.com.

We're still waiting to hear

from people as to what you want

to see or hear more of from the

show.

Or what you enjoy hearing from

the show.

Do you like the episode artwork?

That's another thing.

Kit works really hard on the

episode artwork.

I'm not going to lie.

Sometimes, some of the pieces

of art he puts together take,

like, a couple of hours to do.

He's really puts a lot of time

and effort into it.

I feel like a couple of hours

isn't that much time.

That's your opinion.

Also, as always, we are what we

consider to be a value for

value show.

Which means that if you get any

value out of this.

Show some value in return.

And we often neglect to mention

this.

But the place to go to do that

is khttps://ko-fi.com/nontopical.

And there's links to that in

the show notes.

And in a modern podcast player,

such as Cast-O-Matic, Cast-O-Pod,

Fountain, Podcast Addict, and

all these other ones.

There's actually usually a

convenient link right in the

app to be able to get to the

donation page.

And we really appreciate that

because it does encourage us to

keep going forward with this.

So we thank you for that as

well.

I think that's about it for

this episode.

Unless, Kit, do you have

anything else to add?

A hypothetical 1,000 credits.

Yes, we could use that

hypothetical 1,000 future

credits.

Because with inflation, that'll

be equal to about $10.

Yeah.

All right, everybody.

We'll catch you next time.

Bye.

Bye.