hello everybody yay we are
recording in my living room
normally we would be walking or
something but
there are well really without
complaining about the cold
which it's around 20 degrees
fahrenheit
which isn't terrible although
warm the the mornings the
mornings have been like
starting off at negative
one negative two negative seven
the primary reason we can't
walk is there was just this
small little
snowstorm last weekend and it
dumped just under two feet of
snow depending on area so
anywhere from 14
inches to 20 inches across the
state of connecticut and that
means that the paths that we
normally walk
down no and even better you
think well hey what about an
indoor place well the only
indoor place i could
think of where we could walk
and talk is the mall and
unfortunately at the mall if
you're walking and
talking with recording devices
uh security takes notice of
that and tends to reject you
from the
premises or rather eject you
from the premises because they
don't want patrons being
recorded
even if it's not on video like
they will so yeah we're
recording in the living room
and uh it it may
may or may not sound better or
worse whatever i i do know i
won't be breathing as heavily i
don't think
yay yay yay yay after we
recorded last episode kit
brought something up to me and
uh kit i'd like you to
go ahead and explain your
concern uh it's it's not non-topical
it's not non-topical and what
what he means is that
no don't get me wrong we're
good at what we do i still
think that that hollywood will
eventually
take us up on our deals that
said the point of the show was
not necessarily to focus on any
one thing
to really just be free to
discuss whatever and we fell
into a groove where coming up
with movie ideas just
sort of happened and it's great
and it's a lot of fun but if
that's what we're trying to do
all the time
then it's more of a focused
show versus a whatever the heck
we feel like talking about show
yeah
and because of that it's not to
say that we won't ever fall
into that groove again it's a
fun groove for us
we like being creative and
coming up with stuff like that
we're going to try to keep
things a little
bit more scattered and to base
things a little bit more on
different ideas and
conversations and that
may mean that there'll be some
shorter episodes rather than
the 30 minutes to an hour that
you
normally receive that doesn't
mean that there's going to be
any less work for us we're
still going
to probably be recording
several things at once over the
period of an hour or two and
then dividing it up differently
so
so what's been on your mind kit
what what what is it that i do
have anything to talk about
yeah it's just a lot of like
mostly what's on my mind is a
lot of life stuff going on that
is
probably not fit for podcasting
just because it's the same
things that adults typically
worry about
you know work relationships
money downsizing stuff planning
for the future all that type of
stuff
not exactly the the greatest
content for a podcast although
it is stuff that we could talk
about
but i thought that you had some
specific ideas in terms of uh
some some questions or
conversation starters
well i have questions
okay what would you do if an
android assassin were after you
okay we have a lot of things
that we have to pre-establish
for this
uh it it's not just so simple
as to say an android because
throughout the history of
science fiction
there are many different types
of androids i mean we have to
first of all i would presume
regardless of the form of the
android that it is physically
superior in terms of strength
at minimum
yeah intellectually superior is
different if it's smarter than
you if it's more intelligent
then it's going to be very
difficult of a scenario we also
have to figure out in terms of
android
what type of android are we
talking from a physical
perspective not just in
strength but are we talking
original terminator are we
talking terminator 2 where it's
made of liquid metal and can
change into
anything are we talking blade
runner where the only way that
you can tell that this thing is
an android
is by administering an obscure
test and observing the eyes
really closely and all of that
and those
androids actually look more
like humans and they only live
for if i remember correctly
three years
and they are superior strength
wise but they're not
necessarily superior
intellectual wise also are
these androids connected to a
hive mind of some sort are they
constantly connected to the
internet
or is their brain self-contained
because if they're constantly
connected to the internet then
they could
tap into government resources
they could tap into traffic
cameras they could tap into
rather
bank atm cameras ring doorbells
the whole nine yards so i need
you to better flesh out the
enemy here so uh
is humanoid looking, but it's
still clearly an android
because humans are egotistical
and stuff.
So maybe its skin is like
slightly off color, kind of
like Data from Star Trek Next
Generation?
I mean, and you can see its
joints, like it's not...
Okay, so the skin isn't like
perfect, you can actually see
like the polymer plastic type
outer skin sort of.
So we're talking like kind of
like the iRobot movie look
where it's like the white
plastic type thing?
I mean probably more metallic.
Okay, but does it have like a
humanoid face or is it just
completely blank? It does, but
it can't like express mouth
movement as much.
Okay, so it's basically... It
also doesn't have eyebrows.
So, alright, so you're talking
like a metal or plastic face
that has just kind of things
that look like eyes,
a facsimile of a nose, and a
facsimile of a mouth that may
or may not light up when it's
talking.
Yeah.
Okay.
It can like open to a square
shape probably, but like that's
about it.
So basically like C-3PO.
Yeah, it does kind of look like
C-3PO actually now that I think
about it.
I mean, but probably cleaner.
Like probably, you know. Okay.
So we've established the look
of this thing. So it cannot run
or move smoothly. It is a bit janky.
Uh, it's pretty smooth actually.
It's pretty smooth. You can see
its joints, but like they're
close to human joints.
So it does not move like C-3PO.
It moves like a human.
Yeah.
Okay.
Maybe even better than a human
because it can optimize that.
All right. So we've established
that. Intelligence.
Uh, I mean it's smarter than a
human in some ways, but it also
can't like feel any emotions or
anything because it's still a
robot.
So it doesn't really have a
sixth, well not even a sixth
sense, but you know how like
with humans we can sometimes
sense that something's off.
Like we could sense there's a
trap being set up for us.
Yeah. All it can do is like
scan around and base
practically and think
practically what you can do,
but it can't think emotionally
what you're going to do.
All right.
All the time. It can try. It
can like mimic, but it doesn't
understand it.
Okay. And in terms of
connection into hive mind slash
internet resources slash the
entire network of the world,
is it connected or does it have
to physically go to a computer
and it's limited to access that
a human would have?
Uh, it's self-contained, but it
probably has like a couple of
ports in its head or somewhere
on its body to connect to
certain things.
But it would have to physically
connect to them. Yeah. It's not
like Starlink. Yeah. And it
would also be like vulnerable
to very specific virus. Like if
you built a virus specifically
to attack it, that could
possibly get past it.
All right. So we've established
the type of android. How about
the world that we're living in?
Is it just normal world or is
this some kind of future world?
Is it apocalypse?
Considering the character that
I'm basing this off of that I
came off with, uh, cyberpunk-ish
type world. Okay. So we're
technologically advanced. Okay.
I have to ask this. Do we or do
we not have flying cars?
Uh, probably not. Okay. But
like marginally more commercial
flying things. Okay. So
basically giant cityscapes,
lots of neon or LED lights,
lots of advertising, um, city
streets. Robotic modifications
of body. Okay. Stuff like that.
Okay. All right. And last but
not least, why?
Why is this android after? Oh,
oh wait, I didn't think about
this. Weapons. Uh, does the
android have any inbuilt
hardware? Uh, inbuilt? Or built
in whatever. Yeah. Does it?
Built in? Yeah. Does it have
any weapons or does it have to
acquire weapons?
I mean, it can probably replace
its hands if it wanted to. Well,
want in quotations. If it would
be efficient to. Uh, it might
have like a laser pointer or a
blacklight or something in its
finger. But aside from that, it's
just physically strong because
it's made of metals.
All right. So it's not like it
has, um, machine gun or laser
gun. It, it, it, it, it, yeah,
probably not.
Oh, all right. All right. That
would be a little ridiculous.
Okay. And it obviously can't
shape shift. It has specific
form. All right. So last but
not least, on top of the
weapons and all of that stuff.
So we've got our setting. We've
got the, the enemy. What have I
done?
That this thing is coming after
me. Who have I upset that they've
sicked this thing on me? Or
what have I done to, even
though it doesn't have emotions,
offend its personal, like, uh,
protocols as such that I
present a threat to it that it
need, that it can then go past
the whole not allowed to harm
humans rule and is coming after
me.
Uh, I mean, it's, it's an
assassin. So if, if you, if you
talk to the wrong people and
upset them, you never know. You
never really know.
All right. So this is a robot
that's specifically designed as
an assassin. And if it came
across a machine gun or a
sniper rifle, it would know how
to use it with deadly precision.
Yeah. And it probably already
has like a gun or two. All
right. So this is, this is like
a military robot or something
like that. Like that has been
repurposed.
This was like a soldier type
robot. And then they got reprogrammed
by somebody to become an
assassin.
Yeah, sort of. Okay. All right.
So we have an assassin robot
coming after me in a dystopian
city like world.
Run by big corporate. Run by
big corporate. So chances are,
knowing myself and knowing my,
my current attitude towards
corporate environments, chances
are that I said or did
something related to the
corporation I'm part of.
And somebody was monitoring
something and decided that I
pose a threat to the bottom
line in a significant way, or I
pose a threat to the corporate
workplace. Like I might be that,
that one bad apple, that one
guy that's going to cause
everyone else to rise up
against the corporate mentality.
Like I've been having meetings
where like, I've been getting
people to, to start to, to, you
know, say, Hey, there might be
a better way of doing things
where it's not just about
making money, but it's also
about bringing general
happiness to people as well.
And that we should all have a
good work-life balance and that
we should all have a good work-life
balance and all that. Okay. So
that is my presumption at this
point.
They've been monitoring my, my
next generation of Microsoft
teams conversations. And the,
the CEO has taken a look at
this and been like, no, we can't
fire him because that'll just
be like a token.
And you know, everybody will
rise up. If we fire him, he's
got to be dead and it has to
look normal. So we've, we've
got the rationale behind
everything.
I am not a fighter. I am not a
superhero. I am not somebody
who is a soldier of any type. I
have not fired any weapons.
So what do I do once I, well,
first of all, I, I think there
has to be a moment where I
discover that this Android is
coming after me.
And I mean, it doesn't just
show up or maybe it does. So
maybe I'm sitting in the cubicle
at work, although I work from
home a lot.
So does it show up at my door
or does it show up at work?
Even so, I'm like kind of stuck.
Like I'm a normal human. I am
Joe Q human. I am not, I am not
military trained. I am not.
I mean, that depends on if you
have any cybernet modifications
or not.
Look, look, I, no, I am, I am
being myself here.
I'm going to be myself because
the question is, what would I
do if Assassin Android is
coming after me?
Yeah. Uh, there, there is one
detail about its appearance
that I didn't say and that's,
uh, its size glow.
Okay. Well, I mean, it, evil
robot. So, I mean, not
necessarily evil, but.
Just glow any color. Doesn't
have to be like stereotypically
evil.
So, I'm going to base this as
if I'm living in a similar
apartment style, but in a
building in a city.
With two doors. So, I have two
exits.
I have no weapons.
And I have a moderate amount of
computer skills.
And could pick up programming
if I needed to.
The building also would
probably have an alarm because
it's the future.
The future. Okay.
So, for the sake of argument,
let's say that I have the next
generation of ring doorbell or
whatever.
Robot shows up at my doors,
which both are normally locked.
Yeah.
I'm not expecting a package or
anything.
And I'm going to presume that I
know what package delivery
robots look like compared to
whatever the hell this thing is.
So, I don't know why this thing
is here.
But I can readily see that this
is not a robot that should be
coming to my location.
So, I'm not going to answer the
door.
But it's going to start banging
on the door.
And possibly take out a gun and
try to shoot out the locks.
So, at that point, I'm going to
be calling the authorities
while taking the other way out
to get to my car and to get
away.
So, I'm calling the authorities.
I'm going outside.
I'm giving a description of
this thing.
I'm forwarding them the footage.
Because that's basically all I
can do at this point.
Knowing 911 and the way it
operates today, I'm going to
presume that it would operate
similarly.
Unless, of course, it's owned
by the same corporation that I
work for.
Of course.
In this case, it's going to get
cut off.
Or it's not going to get
reported properly.
Regardless, I'm driving away.
Because by the time robot busts
in, I will be gone.
Even if you try to shoot out
the locks, even with robot
precision, that's going to take
a shot or two.
Because locks are not
necessarily as easy to blow out
as people think.
Not to mention the fact that my
neighbors are going to hear
this thing pounding on my door
and shooting.
And it's going to attract
attention to itself.
I mean, unless it doesn't shoot.
Well, even so.
You hear loud banging on a door
and hear the sound of splintering.
That's going to attract some
attention.
I'm sorry.
As much as I don't have a
direct, like, great rapport
with my neighbors and stuff.
I'm pretty sure if something
crazy was going down, everybody
would be poking their heads out
and being like, what the heck
is going on?
But meanwhile, I'm getting the
heck out of Dodge.
So I'm driving off.
Obviously, once this thing
discovers I'm gone, it's going
to try to follow me.
But logically, what I'm going
to do is I'm going to go to the
not corporate police.
I'm going to go to the police
that are not the corporate
influenced ones.
Because I'm going to presume
there is a standard police
force still in place.
Yeah.
So I'm going to go there.
Military police force convo.
Fine.
And I'm going to show them the
footage.
And my presumption is that they're
going to be like, well, this
thing is not going to stop.
So we're going to take you into
protective custody.
And I'm going to be like, I'm
totally fine with that.
And assassin robot being
assassin robot, it's not going
to be so dumb as to go into a
police station and start trying
to get me.
Because a good assassin is not
going to go out in the open and
do things.
You have to make it all clean-like.
It also is going to try to kill
as few people as possible
unless it is more efficient to
kill them.
So my best resource is to go to
the police to show them the
footage that I have in the
hopes that they'll be able to
track down where this thing is
coming from and whatnot.
I know that's the most boringest
of answers.
But as a normal Joe Q human
being, there's not much that I'm
going to be able to do on my
own without the assistance of
higher authorities.
I am not going to be able to
fight this thing on my own.
And I know I'm not going to be
able to fight this on my own.
I'm not stupid.
So in this scenario, that is
like my number one go-to.
Now here's the question.
What if the robot breaks the
camera?
Well, there would still be
enough footage before it breaks
the camera, you would presume.
But even so, I'm still going to
the cops and giving them this
description.
And knowing technology as I do,
that thing had to get to my
apartment somehow.
It had to either walk into the
complex or it had to arrive by
vehicle.
And given that this is a city
and this is a dystopian future,
there are cameras everywhere.
So there's going to be footage
somewhere that can be subpoenaed
with this thing.
Not to mention that while it
might not be connected to a
hive mind and be able to access
the internet all the time,
most robots, military, repurposed,
or otherwise, are going to have
some sort of tracking
associated with them.
They might try to mask it.
And given this is an assassin
robot, so chances are it would
be very difficult to determine.
But they're still going to give
off some kind of sensor
readings to something,
regardless.
Yeah.
And chances are it's going to
have some kind of unique
signature based upon the
processors or GPUs inside of
the thing from an
electromagnetic perspective.
Yeah.
So it's the boring ass answer.
But my best bet is the cops.
Now, if you presume all cops
are owned by corporate
influence, where do I go next?
So if all cops are owned by the
same corporate influence, the
next thing that I might
consider is I would not go to
government directly because
senators and such are probably,
again, owned by corporations.
So my next best bet is probably
the military.
Even though the military is
owned by the government, the
military might not be
completely co-opted by
corporation.
Now, if the military is
completely co-opted by
corporation, there are very few
avenues that I have.
If I were to be more optimal
about the military, it might be
like a collective military
between different groups of big
corporates and countries.
So there might be only partial
influence.
Yeah.
All right.
So in that case, if the cops
are owned by corporate and I
know that they are, I will go
to the nearest non-classified
military base and just be like,
look, this is a situation.
I can't go to the cops because
they're owned by, you know, I
fear like this robot's been
sent because of stuff that I've
done with my company.
They're not too happy that, you
know, I'm trying to increase
morale and help people to stand
up for themselves.
So I think they sent this robot
after me.
I can't go to the cops.
Please help me.
And I'm going to hope that the
military can help me at that
point.
Other than that, the only other
thing I can think of that would
be a stereotypical sci-fi plot.
And it's presuming that I
actually have friendships that
go in this circle is I have a
friend that's like, you know,
really conspiracy theorist,
really knows all the technology,
can like hack anything, etc.
But knowing people in real life,
I don't really have any person
in my life like that.
So I can't really fall back on
that, can I?
We're in a fictional situation
and a fictional world here, but
it's a world where I still want
to be rooted in myself.
So I don't want to make up
things that I don't have access
to.
Those are the only options that
I think that I have.
And in the due course of things,
yes, the robot will eventually
try to come after me.
But knowing that, like you said,
it's going to want to injure as
few people as possible and be
as least obvious as possible.
The safest place for me is
either with the police or with
the military.
Because there's a lot of bodies,
a lot of video, and a lot of
security there.
And if that thing then comes
for me, then chances are they're
going to be able to gun it down.
This is not Robocop where you're
going to have Ed whatever its
number is with the giant Gatling
guns.
Or Robocop who is basically indestructible
for the most part.
This is an android that can be
destroyed.
It is stronger than humans, but
when faced by humans that may
have electromagnetic pulse
weapons and other weapons,
chances are it's going to get
taken down.
And when it does get taken down,
presuming that its memory is
not going to get automatically
wiped,
presuming that blowing it up
stops its immediate memory wipe,
then they're going to be able
to get the memory out of the
thing and figure out who hired
it.
At which point, that person
will be taken into custody.
And I will have to presume that
they'll probably eventually
escape because corrupt
corporate society that may or
may not be able to grease the
palms of the courts.
But still, look, I'm going to
be just completely honest.
I will eventually die.
Because if it's that type of
society, even if I go through
appropriate channels, they'll
be able to protect me for a
while.
But eventually, there's just
going to be more and more
sophisticated assassin robots
getting sent after me.
The person that is committing
the crimes against me is going
to have too much power and
influence to be able to be held
to account for their crimes.
So regardless of how many times
I lean on the military or even
if I start working for the
military as a civilian
consultant in the long term,
eventually they're going to
come up with an assassin
android that is going to be
able to evade the cameras,
sneak through the air ducts,
and kill me with some kind of
fast acting poison that won't
leave behind too much residue.
So I know that eventually I am
going to die to these things.
And I know that that's not fun.
But I'm being a realist here.
I could go full sci-fi trope
and be like, oh yeah, I have
all of the John Wick and or
Bourne skills.
I am like an assassin myself.
I can hack anything.
I can, you know, I can slide
down the side of a building
with a pistol in my hand and be
shooting as I'm sliding down
the side of it and somehow
still nail the landing.
But realistically, that's not
who I am.
I've got a left knee that
sometimes acts up.
If I were to like even stick a
landing off of the second story
of a building, I'm still going
to mess up that knee.
I'm going to just be hobbling
away.
This is the real world, like
for me, but in a fictional
scenario.
Even in a fictional scenario
where I know customer service
systems inside and out, let's
say,
and they're the next generation
of customer service systems,
that's not going to help me in
this situation.
Even though I know a little bit
about how to run Python scripts
and things like that, that's
not going to help me in this
situation.
I am going to die unless I'm
protected by people who are
much better equipped to deal
with this than I am.
And unfortunately, even those
people, unless they figure out,
look, the guy who's sticking
people on this poor civilian is
not going to stop unless he's
actually assassinated himself,
which would be kind of against
the law in of itself.
So that's my answer.
I'm going to go to the
competent authorities as best
as I can.
And chances are I'm eventually
going to die unless those
competent authorities can
actually bring this person to
justice who sick these things
upon me.
Yeah, I mean, that's boring.
It's not as fun as what people
want.
Like, they want to hear me
saying, oh, I would take a
baseball bat to the thing's
head until its central
processor shut down.
And then I would download its
memory and figure out who did
this.
And then I would go online and,
like, leak it online with the
full, like, proof in 8K or
whatever it is at that point.
You know, caught in 16K from
the camera on the assassin bot
who it is that told everyone to
assassinate me.
But nobody would believe that
anyway because AI deepfakes
would be so good at that point
that it really doesn't matter.
You know, it would just fall
apart anyway.
Mustless are illegal now.
You never know.
But I'm just saying,
realistically, I'm not that
person anyway.
So grounding myself in realism
as to who I am in a fictional
environment, that is how I
would have to react.
There's no getting around it.
Neat.
Like, maybe if I had a crowbar
and it broke in and I had
access to the crowbar, I could
try to bash it.
But chances are it has weapons
with it at that time anyway.
So I hate to say it, but crowbar
does not always beat gun.
I mean, if you're lucky.
Yeah.
And that's how I would approach
it.
I mean, is there anything you
would do differently?
I would just die.
Wow.
You're not even going to try to
evade.
You're just going to be like,
my death's at the door.
I resign myself to this fact.
Kit is at home.
Kit is at home and he sees the
robot show up.
Kit's below the age to drink or
whatever, but he's like, well,
I'm going to go.
So like the robot busts in and
he's just sitting there like
just drinking from the bottle.
The robot kind of looks at him
like, well, aren't you going to
run?
No.
Just let me finish this.
Let me get really drunk first.
And the assassin droid might
just sit there and be like, you
know, that's not going to stop
me from achieving my goals here.
I'll give you the extra 15
minutes to get drunk.
And then so it doesn't hurt as
much.
That's kind of sad, though.
So you wouldn't try to find it
all.
I might, but I don't think I
could.
So you wouldn't.
You wouldn't.
I'm kind of too slow to do
anything.
You wouldn't try to get to a
neighbor at least or try to
call the cops.
Nothing.
No, I'd probably be too slow to
do that.
Wow.
That is sad.
I don't know how else this
react.
I mean, that's just that.
So my reaction.
I'm going to at least try to go
to competent authorities to
help.
Kit's reaction.
I'm just going to sit there and
let it happen.
I'm going to hope that it doesn't
have to torture me first.
There's no information it needs
to extract from me.
I'm just going to sit there,
like, grab a bottle of alcohol
and just, like, let it come.
Wow.
All right, man.
To each their own.
I'm just saying what would be
most likely to happen.
Because it's faster, stronger,
and better than me.
True.
Very true.
But, yeah, so, um, assassin,
android, coming after us.
That's, that's the way we would
deal with it.
You know what you would, you
know what you would do with
your alcohol?
You would have one final cheese
quesadilla.
Yes, sir.
Yeah, absolutely.
So, that would be, that would
be the ultimate end.
Like, Kit sitting there, cheese
quesadilla, bottle of wine,
just drinking from the bottle.
Maybe somehow, for some reason,
he has a cigarette.
Just like, like, I don't know
where you'd get that from.
But, yeah.
That's, that's how Kit wants to
go out to an assassin.
Or an assassin.
He went out enjoying what he
likes.
Cheese quesadillas.
Cheese quesadilla.
Anyway, if you like this
conversation and you like this
slightly different direction,
please let us know.
Feedback@nontopical.com.
We're still waiting to hear
from people as to what you want
to see or hear more of from the
show.
Or what you enjoy hearing from
the show.
Do you like the episode artwork?
That's another thing.
Kit works really hard on the
episode artwork.
I'm not going to lie.
Sometimes, some of the pieces
of art he puts together take,
like, a couple of hours to do.
He's really puts a lot of time
and effort into it.
I feel like a couple of hours
isn't that much time.
That's your opinion.
Also, as always, we are what we
consider to be a value for
value show.
Which means that if you get any
value out of this.
Show some value in return.
And we often neglect to mention
this.
But the place to go to do that
is khttps://ko-fi.com/nontopical.
And there's links to that in
the show notes.
And in a modern podcast player,
such as Cast-O-Matic, Cast-O-Pod,
Fountain, Podcast Addict, and
all these other ones.
There's actually usually a
convenient link right in the
app to be able to get to the
donation page.
And we really appreciate that
because it does encourage us to
keep going forward with this.
So we thank you for that as
well.
I think that's about it for
this episode.
Unless, Kit, do you have
anything else to add?
A hypothetical 1,000 credits.
Yes, we could use that
hypothetical 1,000 future
credits.
Because with inflation, that'll
be equal to about $10.
Yeah.
All right, everybody.
We'll catch you next time.
Bye.