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Hello everyone, thank you for

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joining us for our second

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special pre-recorded episode of

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Non-Topical.

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In this episode, which was

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recorded way, way, way back in,

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I believe, April of 2024,

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Kit and I discuss Star Wars

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Episode 7 and Emperor Palpatine's

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retirement job.

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Yes, yes. Also, we discuss the

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ultimate reason for existing as

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a Jedi or for the Force.

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So, we hope you enjoy that.

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All right, so I hit the button.

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Why'd you hit it? It didn't do

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anything wrong.

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You know, I mean, really?

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We should talk about something

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relating to Star Wars. I don't

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know what.

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Star Wars.

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Wait, wait, yeah. So, that's

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that thing where they explore

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space and they get into, like,

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intergalactic politics, right?

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That's Star Wars?

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That was only the sequel. Only

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the sequel.

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No. No, that's true. You're

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full of it. No. No, the

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politics come in in the prequels.

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Yeah, so I said the prequels.

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No, you said the sequel.

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I said the prequels.

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I have it in 4K!

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Well, I meant to say the prequels.

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Well, hang on. Let me... Editing,

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Chris. Go back to the tape.

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That was only the sequel. Only

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the sequel.

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There, see? I proved you wrong.

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You said sequels.

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Well, I said I meant to say prequels

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if I did.

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Something about Star Wars.

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Hmm. The war of...

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I have not heard of this. What

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is this Star Wars that you

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speak of?

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I have not compulsively, you

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know, watched or documented

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this series for the majority of

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my life.

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yeah there's a lot to unpack

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with star wars i mean you got

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stars you got wars i mean what

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more

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do you really have to say star

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killer face oh no oh no no no

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no no oh gosh so that's where

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you want

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to go with this is it the the

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the sequels look well there's a

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lot of stuff that got deleted

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from

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them so yeah intelligence

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besides that like who who who

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at disney was running this

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because here's

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the thing like you could

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clearly tell they had no clue

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what they were doing going from

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movie one to

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movie two to movie three and by

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movie one to movie two to movie

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three of course i mean director

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one

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director two direct no i was

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gonna say of course i mean

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seven eight and nine instead of

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one two and

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three yeah but but yeah to your

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point it's like director a

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director b and they all have

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their own

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like unique vision of what they

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want to try to do but they don't

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like at all know what they want

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to do

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i'll say the one that's the

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best out of the sequels is the

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first the first one yeah and

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like people are

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oh oh they're just doing they're

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just doing the death star but

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bigger and you're like yeah um

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i'm okay with that i guess i

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mean they brought back millennium

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falcon they brought back the

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chewbacca

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they killed off han solo

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finally hey that was in

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accordance with his will like

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that he that was planned

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you know they he's been wanting

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to die for a while you know han

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solo like he was he was such a

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brash

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you know smuggler type you know

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you know he he obviously like

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shoot people first you know

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before

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they have a chance to shoot him

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which is totally normal and no

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no not not if you're going by

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the

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special no no no the special

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editions don't exist

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they don't exist anyway no the

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but going back to it like i

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didn't mind it too much

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like some people like oh it's

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repetitive i think the only

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annoying thing is like uh what's

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her face

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ray yeah like she goes from

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like i'm a nobody to i'm a

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complete badass worship my

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badassness everybody

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look at i've not i have no idea

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what a lightsaber is but look i

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can use it with skill it's like

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but

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she she used stick remember oh

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she is used to using stick oh

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that's right yes fighting with

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a stick and a

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friggin lightsaber completely

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the same totally totally the

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same 100 percent you know hey

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the next time i'm gonna go and

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fight

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i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm just

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gonna pick up a sharp pointing

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stick and start like poking at

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him be like

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oh look i turned your respirator

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off i turned your respirator

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off what are you gonna do now

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darth

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and he's like force choking me

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i'm like no man i took

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i'm like still choking

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meanwhile like i hit the button

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on his chest plate again he's

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like

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you know that that voice that

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he does oh no no we got sticks

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it's like the movie aliens

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where it's like

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he's like listen all these

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weapons we've got this type of

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weapon that type of weapon we

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got sharp sticks

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i mean i mean a stick would be

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good if you're practicing for

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using a double-bladed lightsaber

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i'll

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say that yeah but she wasn't

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yeah i i get like we we try to

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explain this later in the sequels

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and

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let's not go let's you know we

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will stick just for talking

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about the first sequel and that

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part of it

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but yeah ray to me as a

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character is like uh she's okay

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like she wanted to wait for her

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parents but her

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parents never showed up and she

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wanted to do this she wanted to

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do that yada yada yada she kind

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of was

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just surviving she gets pulled

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into this thing and that's all

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well and good except for the

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fact that

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like she openly says she has no

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idea what she's doing so she

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gets on the millennium falcon

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and she's like

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i can't believe that i knew how

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to fly this how is this a thing

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well i know how how the force

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made it happen

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the four yeah the force forced

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it the the force got the force

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got you covered right i mean

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never flown

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before you know never you know

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like this is like this is the

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force for babies it's like not

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even the

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force for babies it's it's the

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force for lazy people like this

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is the force for like people

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who just don't

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want to take the time to master

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anything and so it's like you're

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sitting there like ah force get

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me the

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beer from the fridge like um

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she has done nothing to earn

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any knowledge about starships

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and yet she just

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gets onto one and is able to

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fly it like i'm sorry i've

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heard pilots talk about how

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planes work

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you don't just sit in a cockpit

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of a plane having never seen

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one before and just be like oh

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there's

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the on switch oh look uh here's

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here's the auto takeoff button

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let me press that like

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i i i want to say that it would

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make sense that spacecraft

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would be more complex than

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airplanes

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yeah like she flew a hover

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speeder thing like the desert duster

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yeah it's like the desert

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vacuum

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cleaner yeah skiff i think that's

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what it's called a blocky piece

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of crap is what it's called

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i mean who came up with that

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that ship design i'm gonna ride

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on the refrigerator box

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trust the force agency the best

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insurance around i mean

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i don't know how i'd feel about

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that

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sir we're your insurance

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company yes i know well we're

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gonna increase your premiums

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why i haven't even like i haven't

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been in a car accident i haven't

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like gotten murdered or stabbed

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i

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don't have cancer what's going

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trust me we know we know what's

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gonna happen and when it will

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trust me your your premiums are

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going up it is all proceeding

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as i have foreseen it

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helps his retirement job helps

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goes to coruscant

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this is palpatine insurance

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company how can i serve you

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um are you supposed to sound

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like you're gonna kill me are

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you supposed to sound like you

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want to be killed

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like i know that wasn't even a

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good bit but still like the

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point it helps goes to coruscant

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as his retirement job to start

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an insurance company just so

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that he can shaft everybody by

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knowing the future or

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predicting the future or better

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yet like he could just like

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make junk happen like like oh

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you want to get your home

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insurance

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yeah i want to get home

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insurance i'll be happy to insure

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your home here sign on the

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dotted line

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later that night lightning bolt

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hits the house and the entire

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thing catches fire

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wait wouldn't that make palps

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actually go broke faster now

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that i think about that because

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then

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you'd have to pay them for the

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00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:37,180
house that they just insured

293
00:10:37,180 --> 00:10:39,680
maybe maybe maybe oh no but

294
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:39,720
then what he'll do is he'll

295
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:39,790
like plant evidence so like palps

296
00:10:39,790 --> 00:10:39,870
will like hit the building with

297
00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:39,960
night lightning and then sneak

298
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:40,030
around the back and put like

299
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:40,120
you know repulsor lift fuel or

300
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:40,180
something like right behind the

301
00:10:40,180 --> 00:10:40,260
house and then you know that's

302
00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:40,320
what you're going to do with

303
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:40,620
that.

304
00:10:40,620 --> 00:10:41,990
i don't know but then what he'll

305
00:10:41,990 --> 00:10:43,390
do is he'll like plant evidence

306
00:10:43,390 --> 00:10:44,730
so like palps will like hit the

307
00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:46,150
building with night lightning

308
00:10:46,150 --> 00:10:47,440
and then sneak around the back

309
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:48,760
and put like you know repulsor

310
00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:49,990
lift fuel or something like

311
00:10:49,990 --> 00:10:51,860
right behind the house and like

312
00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:53,590
just have a little trail of it

313
00:10:53,590 --> 00:10:55,410
like going there and totally

314
00:10:55,410 --> 00:10:56,920
make it seem like he'll wear

315
00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:58,200
gloves and junk he'll just get

316
00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,620
out of their shed he'll put on

317
00:10:59,620 --> 00:11:01,170
his gloves like you know they

318
00:11:01,170 --> 00:11:03,020
have the repulsor lift lawnmower

319
00:11:03,020 --> 00:11:04,700
and like so palps hits the

320
00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:06,780
house with lightning and start

321
00:11:06,780 --> 00:11:08,580
on fire and then like has

322
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,220
gloves on or uses the force.

323
00:11:10,220 --> 00:11:11,360
He doesn't even need gloves. He

324
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,000
doesn't even need gloves. He

325
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,610
uses the force to like make it

326
00:11:14,610 --> 00:11:16,370
seem like the owner dumped like

327
00:11:16,370 --> 00:11:18,110
you know repulsor lift fuel all

328
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:19,870
over the backyard and then like

329
00:11:19,870 --> 00:11:21,410
the next day when he calls up

330
00:11:21,410 --> 00:11:23,070
and he's like yo palps my house

331
00:11:23,070 --> 00:11:25,300
burned down what am I gonna do?

332
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:28,000
Oh well well we definitely want

333
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,590
to help you there. Let's send

334
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:32,750
the fire ship or whatever and

335
00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:34,730
the fire ship goes over and

336
00:11:34,730 --> 00:11:37,070
like the you know captain comes

337
00:11:37,070 --> 00:11:39,260
out and he looks like he looks

338
00:11:39,260 --> 00:11:39,820
at the

339
00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:42,330
backyard and he's like sir we

340
00:11:42,330 --> 00:11:44,570
need to talk why is it that it

341
00:11:44,570 --> 00:11:47,560
looks like there's fuel here?

342
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:49,660
Well I don't I don't know

343
00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:52,490
anything about that. Well sir

344
00:11:52,490 --> 00:11:55,230
we have your insurance agent on

345
00:11:55,230 --> 00:11:58,050
the line with us right now. Yes

346
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,570
hello. Yeah yeah um this is

347
00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:03,060
officer Rudy from the uh the

348
00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:05,800
porous on fire department. Uh

349
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,720
yeah. So we got this guy here.

350
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:09,740
His house

351
00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:11,690
burned down and we found this

352
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:14,640
gas can right behind the house

353
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,400
oh that's interesting yeah yeah

354
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,260
uh so he

355
00:12:18,260 --> 00:12:20,340
claims that you just got an

356
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:22,560
insurance planned with him oh

357
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:24,860
really well yeah yeah this is

358
00:12:24,860 --> 00:12:25,820
his name his

359
00:12:25,820 --> 00:12:28,450
name is jones wait that that's

360
00:12:28,450 --> 00:12:31,050
his entire name yes that's his

361
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:33,820
entire name jones like the cat

362
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:33,960
and

363
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,530
alien uh okay let me uh oh yes

364
00:12:36,530 --> 00:12:39,350
yes i remember talking to them

365
00:12:39,350 --> 00:12:42,280
and you're saying you believe

366
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:42,640
this

367
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,170
to be foul play uh yeah it

368
00:12:45,170 --> 00:12:48,010
seems it seems uh seems shady

369
00:12:48,010 --> 00:12:51,140
to me uh okay um yes they they

370
00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:52,680
did take out a

371
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:55,360
policy just yesterday but uh

372
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,310
fraud clearly uh is not covered

373
00:12:58,310 --> 00:13:00,800
by the policy no my house no

374
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:03,390
so do you need anything else

375
00:13:03,390 --> 00:13:05,850
from me i i have a busy day no

376
00:13:05,850 --> 00:13:08,550
that's about what all we need

377
00:13:08,550 --> 00:13:09,260
we'll

378
00:13:09,260 --> 00:13:11,570
contact the stormtroopers to

379
00:13:11,570 --> 00:13:13,880
you know to to collect him and

380
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,300
his belongings maybe his family

381
00:13:16,300 --> 00:13:16,940
too for

382
00:13:16,940 --> 00:13:20,190
good measure i mean they were

383
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:22,340
probably all in on it there we

384
00:13:22,340 --> 00:13:24,720
go palps insurance agency

385
00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:28,890
but yeah ray's annoying yeah uh

386
00:13:28,890 --> 00:13:32,410
and i mean like was she ever

387
00:13:32,410 --> 00:13:36,600
really close enough to han solo

388
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:37,380
to be

389
00:13:37,380 --> 00:13:40,420
so upset that he died like you

390
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,600
met him a day ago he he

391
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,480
believed in her that that's

392
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,300
enough you met her a

393
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:50,330
day ago he he he was like an

394
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:53,950
adopted father he was a creepy

395
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:57,010
old man so was luke oh well

396
00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,420
yeah yeah but

397
00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:01,470
that's the that's the next

398
00:14:01,470 --> 00:14:03,870
movie but but so so was ben

399
00:14:03,870 --> 00:14:06,790
then you know i mean when you

400
00:14:06,790 --> 00:14:09,180
really think about it

401
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:11,500
there it you know there used to

402
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,710
be a handing down of uh wisdom

403
00:14:13,710 --> 00:14:15,550
from you know the older

404
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:16,720
generation to

405
00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:19,260
the newer generation ah yes the

406
00:14:19,260 --> 00:14:22,020
younglings yes the younglings

407
00:14:22,020 --> 00:14:24,760
such such knowledge of lightsaber

408
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,820
blades firsthand knowledge of

409
00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:28,750
lightsaber blades and blasters

410
00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:30,700
was learned by the younglings

411
00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:33,400
not no no they just didn't have

412
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,700
them on them when when anakin

413
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:38,150
was there no no they learned a

414
00:14:38,150 --> 00:14:38,600
lot

415
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,140
in fact you might say that they

416
00:14:41,140 --> 00:14:43,590
learned so much that you know

417
00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:46,230
their little brains and bodies

418
00:14:46,230 --> 00:14:46,740
just

419
00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:49,060
couldn't handle the the sheer

420
00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:51,480
force of the situation you know

421
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,990
maybe maybe they shouldn't have

422
00:14:53,990 --> 00:14:55,000
asked for so

423
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,510
much you know hands-on

424
00:14:56,510 --> 00:14:58,330
experience really they just

425
00:14:58,330 --> 00:14:59,950
weren't prepared for the

426
00:14:59,950 --> 00:15:01,840
overwhelming sensation of

427
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,700
you know the force of blaster

428
00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:07,550
bolts going through them or a

429
00:15:07,550 --> 00:15:09,400
lightsaber blade

430
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,920
you know really when push comes

431
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,330
to shove though wasn't anakin

432
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,390
doing them a favor i mean he

433
00:15:16,390 --> 00:15:17,880
was giving

434
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,570
them the best they wanted the

435
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,620
experience it was like you know

436
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,120
you even saw it they just cut

437
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:23,840
out some of it

438
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,870
it was like master skywalker

439
00:15:25,870 --> 00:15:28,140
what are we going to do and you

440
00:15:28,140 --> 00:15:29,910
see him lighting up the blade

441
00:15:29,910 --> 00:15:30,520
and the

442
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:31,770
kid's like you know they cut

443
00:15:31,770 --> 00:15:33,130
away before you get to see what

444
00:15:33,130 --> 00:15:34,570
the kid actually says like he's

445
00:15:34,570 --> 00:15:35,100
sitting

446
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,270
there like staring like with a

447
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,260
weird look on his face at the

448
00:15:39,260 --> 00:15:41,510
lightsaber the next moment was

449
00:15:41,510 --> 00:15:42,640
oh cool it's a

450
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,710
lightsaber and those were the

451
00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:48,760
kids last words like he died in

452
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:51,570
a joy-filled way you know he

453
00:15:51,570 --> 00:15:52,860
got to see the

454
00:15:52,860 --> 00:15:54,720
lightsaber up close yeah but

455
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,500
what about the rest of them i

456
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,280
mean once they saw the first

457
00:15:58,280 --> 00:15:59,240
one you know

458
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:02,390
get to experience the lightsaber

459
00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:05,660
so and experience the overflowing

460
00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:08,350
joy uh such joy that it killed

461
00:16:08,350 --> 00:16:08,760
him

462
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,260
they just lined up i mean like

463
00:16:11,260 --> 00:16:13,810
disney has done a revisionist

464
00:16:13,810 --> 00:16:16,080
version like where you see

465
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,260
people like

466
00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:19,300
running and screaming out of

467
00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:21,330
the temple and all this stuff

468
00:16:21,330 --> 00:16:23,260
you know as part of uh the the

469
00:16:23,260 --> 00:16:24,740
backstory for like

470
00:16:24,740 --> 00:16:26,640
mando and for for grogu and

471
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,900
everything but let's be honest

472
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:31,070
we know how it really went down

473
00:16:31,070 --> 00:16:32,420
i mean these kids

474
00:16:32,420 --> 00:16:34,160
are dumb you know the the

475
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,180
minute the first one was cut

476
00:16:36,180 --> 00:16:38,470
down by the lightsaber the rest

477
00:16:38,470 --> 00:16:39,320
were like

478
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,140
that's the way to go on that

479
00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:43,200
that you know what there could

480
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,120
be no greater thing because

481
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:46,740
think about it in the

482
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:48,360
original star wars like obi-wan

483
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:49,860
kenobi just like sat there and

484
00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:51,420
let a lightsaber go through him

485
00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:52,480
and it was all fine

486
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,970
he just disappeared you know so

487
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,450
clearly that is the pinnacle of

488
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,690
the force the pinnacle of the

489
00:16:59,690 --> 00:17:01,490
force is to get cut in half

490
00:17:01,490 --> 00:17:01,600
with

491
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,980
the lightsaber i mean what what

492
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:06,010
about what about the clones

493
00:17:06,010 --> 00:17:07,990
though no how would it be to

494
00:17:07,990 --> 00:17:09,140
get shot by them

495
00:17:09,140 --> 00:17:11,390
because i think more people got

496
00:17:11,390 --> 00:17:13,390
shot by them than the people

497
00:17:13,390 --> 00:17:15,550
that got killed by anakin no no

498
00:17:15,550 --> 00:17:16,260
no no no no

499
00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:17,940
that's that's not what happened

500
00:17:17,940 --> 00:17:19,510
you see what happened was they

501
00:17:19,510 --> 00:17:21,220
just got maimed by the blasters

502
00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:23,480
the stormtroopers are renowned

503
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,690
for their aim you know this the

504
00:17:25,690 --> 00:17:27,640
clone troopers are actually

505
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:28,880
decent yeah yeah

506
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,620
so so here's the thing clone

507
00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:32,460
troopers and stormtroopers are

508
00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:34,420
renowned for their aim and

509
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:34,880
knowing

510
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,800
this i mean clearly they must

511
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,720
have been aiming for you know

512
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,550
the shoulder or the leg you

513
00:17:40,550 --> 00:17:41,480
know they they

514
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,480
weren't going for the chest or

515
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,640
headshots obviously because we

516
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,650
all know that the fulfillment

517
00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:48,540
of the force

518
00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:50,250
is to get cut in half by a

519
00:17:50,250 --> 00:17:52,520
lightsaber you know really if

520
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,860
you think about it palp's doing

521
00:17:54,860 --> 00:17:55,340
this

522
00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:58,370
did the entire race of jedi or

523
00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:01,670
religion of jedi a huge favor i'm

524
00:18:01,670 --> 00:18:04,910
pretty sure even the scenes you

525
00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:05,500
know

526
00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:06,980
where the fully grown jedi

527
00:18:06,980 --> 00:18:08,910
getting like gunned down they

528
00:18:08,910 --> 00:18:10,430
only take enough blaster bolts

529
00:18:10,430 --> 00:18:11,340
to knock them

530
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,430
down and then later you know anakin

531
00:18:13,430 --> 00:18:14,980
or palps are going to come by

532
00:18:14,980 --> 00:18:16,920
and just slice them in half

533
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:17,340
they're

534
00:18:17,340 --> 00:18:19,250
just they're just doing the

535
00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:20,920
ultimate expression of the

536
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,590
force because the ultimate

537
00:18:22,590 --> 00:18:23,820
expression of the

538
00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:25,640
force is getting cut in half

539
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,540
and if you think about it you

540
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,550
know even disney carried this

541
00:18:29,550 --> 00:18:30,720
across into the

542
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,870
sequels snoke snoke is in jedi

543
00:18:33,870 --> 00:18:36,910
or sith heaven because he was

544
00:18:36,910 --> 00:18:40,090
cut in half with a lightsaber

545
00:18:40,090 --> 00:18:40,860
you see

546
00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:42,880
you just you know and i'm

547
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,320
pretty sure look it was shown

548
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,740
off camera but but really you

549
00:18:47,740 --> 00:18:48,980
know as upset

550
00:18:48,980 --> 00:18:50,960
as luke seemed to to be with

551
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,120
the loss of yoda as upset as he

552
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:55,280
seemed to be really what they

553
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:56,140
didn't show

554
00:18:56,140 --> 00:18:58,430
you is underneath the blanket yoda

555
00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:00,190
kind of like looked at luke

556
00:19:00,190 --> 00:19:02,140
gave him this luke like you

557
00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:02,620
know what

558
00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:05,020
you need to do and so under the

559
00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:07,420
blanket what you don't see is

560
00:19:07,420 --> 00:19:10,100
like luke you know lighting the

561
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:12,360
lightsaber and very gingerly

562
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,480
like very lovingly and slowly

563
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,590
cutting yoda in half with the

564
00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:17,820
lightsaber so

565
00:19:17,820 --> 00:19:19,470
as not to singe the blanket it

566
00:19:19,470 --> 00:19:20,960
was the favorite blanket we

567
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,320
have to respect the blanket and

568
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:23,140
the mattress

569
00:19:23,140 --> 00:19:26,180
yoda taught luke well and so luke

570
00:19:26,180 --> 00:19:28,740
just kind of lifted up the he

571
00:19:28,740 --> 00:19:31,460
lifts up the blanket and just

572
00:19:31,460 --> 00:19:32,060
like

573
00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:34,910
slowly slides the plate over

574
00:19:34,910 --> 00:19:38,000
and down and gently carves yoda

575
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:38,780
in half

576
00:19:38,780 --> 00:19:41,260
and well most of the sequel

577
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:44,310
lightsabers don't actually cut

578
00:19:44,310 --> 00:19:46,980
people they don't what like

579
00:19:46,980 --> 00:19:48,240
like the

580
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,240
more recent lightsabers don't

581
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,710
cut people in half they just

582
00:19:51,710 --> 00:19:53,350
they just leave marks on your

583
00:19:53,350 --> 00:19:54,380
body no that's

584
00:19:54,380 --> 00:19:57,240
not true you're wrong they like

585
00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:00,020
i said snoke snoke clearly got

586
00:20:00,020 --> 00:20:01,980
cut in half just like

587
00:20:01,980 --> 00:20:04,140
luke yeah but that was needed

588
00:20:04,140 --> 00:20:05,920
for the store yeah but still

589
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,930
that's the point he was cut in

590
00:20:07,930 --> 00:20:08,700
half it's

591
00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:11,110
the fulfillment of the force

592
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:13,310
that does that mean that uh

593
00:20:13,310 --> 00:20:16,210
that the stormtrooper and obi-wan

594
00:20:16,210 --> 00:20:17,020
that got

595
00:20:17,020 --> 00:20:19,320
cut in half by the lasers does

596
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,840
that mean that he gets to go to

597
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,090
jedi heaven possibly oh oh i've

598
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:24,620
got a

599
00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:29,130
mind-blown one for you darth maul

600
00:20:29,130 --> 00:20:32,660
is in jedi heaven no because he's

601
00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:34,900
still alive no no no no we we

602
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:35,820
don't buy

603
00:20:35,820 --> 00:20:37,780
that shut up no he's still

604
00:20:37,780 --> 00:20:40,070
alive no no he's still alive

605
00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:44,000
wait i've got it darth maul is

606
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:44,780
officially

607
00:20:45,340 --> 00:20:47,780
the god of the god of the jedi

608
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:50,620
realm because here's the thing

609
00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:53,280
but you know what i'm going to

610
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:53,660
agree with

611
00:20:53,660 --> 00:20:56,810
you he lived so here's the deal

612
00:20:56,810 --> 00:21:00,130
though when he does finally die

613
00:21:00,130 --> 00:21:02,660
he gets cut in half with a

614
00:21:02,660 --> 00:21:04,060
lightsaber

615
00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:10,720
and so he is the only jedi or sith

616
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,550
to ever get cut in half by a

617
00:21:13,550 --> 00:21:15,580
lightsaber twice

618
00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:20,540
he is the exalted one forget

619
00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:22,770
palps palps is second tier

620
00:21:22,770 --> 00:21:25,320
helps doesn't even get cut in

621
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:26,460
half at all i

622
00:21:26,460 --> 00:21:28,720
know although i thought of

623
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,980
another jedi that the that

624
00:21:30,980 --> 00:21:33,320
would also go to jedi hell or

625
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:34,460
heaven no no

626
00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:36,000
because he doesn't get cut oh

627
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,480
who who clo coon he just gets

628
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,090
blown up in his ship he doesn't

629
00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:39,740
get cut in

630
00:21:39,740 --> 00:21:42,040
half i mean like maybe maybe we

631
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,350
could let him on the outskirts

632
00:21:44,350 --> 00:21:46,470
of jedi heaven you know like

633
00:21:46,470 --> 00:21:47,020
way on

634
00:21:47,020 --> 00:21:48,840
what about all the other jedi

635
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,810
that did get actually shot play

636
00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:52,710
like on the different planets

637
00:21:52,710 --> 00:21:53,340
like how

638
00:21:53,340 --> 00:21:54,880
would you know exactly where

639
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,280
they got gunned down so you

640
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:57,590
could slice them in half

641
00:21:57,590 --> 00:21:58,620
because then they

642
00:21:58,620 --> 00:22:01,720
just get shot by the clone troopers

643
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,120
we know palps planned this all

644
00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:06,540
out okay we know that this was

645
00:22:06,540 --> 00:22:08,420
planned it's just so what they

646
00:22:08,420 --> 00:22:10,090
did is they had all the jedi

647
00:22:10,090 --> 00:22:11,710
come to the jedi temple so

648
00:22:11,710 --> 00:22:12,620
everyone was

649
00:22:12,620 --> 00:22:16,320
there and they said look we we've

650
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,350
got this risky space covid

651
00:22:19,350 --> 00:22:22,640
going on um and space covid we

652
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:23,740
we found

653
00:22:23,740 --> 00:22:26,800
that space covid you know has

654
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:30,170
space covid the the population

655
00:22:30,170 --> 00:22:33,390
that is at the highest risk for

656
00:22:33,390 --> 00:22:34,940
illness and for

657
00:22:35,820 --> 00:22:38,870
serious consequences from space

658
00:22:38,870 --> 00:22:41,260
covid are the jedi and and so

659
00:22:41,260 --> 00:22:43,610
because of this you know we

660
00:22:43,610 --> 00:22:44,780
gotta we gotta

661
00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:46,350
you know give you all a shot

662
00:22:46,350 --> 00:22:49,080
and unfortunately yoda and obi-wan

663
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,970
weren't there that day they

664
00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:51,980
were all out

665
00:22:51,980 --> 00:22:53,730
like you know at a at a park or

666
00:22:53,730 --> 00:22:55,800
something you know like obi-wan

667
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,980
was like pushing yoda around in

668
00:22:57,980 --> 00:22:59,600
a walker because they didn't

669
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:00,890
have hover walkers yet or

670
00:23:00,890 --> 00:23:02,380
whatever you know they were

671
00:23:02,380 --> 00:23:03,980
just out like getting you know

672
00:23:03,980 --> 00:23:05,670
candy and stuff they they were

673
00:23:05,670 --> 00:23:07,260
out in the park on a summer day

674
00:23:07,260 --> 00:23:08,940
you know everyone they missed

675
00:23:08,940 --> 00:23:09,500
the call

676
00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:11,350
they turned off their com links

677
00:23:11,350 --> 00:23:13,040
everyone else was at the jedi

678
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,820
temple where they should have

679
00:23:14,820 --> 00:23:16,220
been like i'm

680
00:23:16,220 --> 00:23:17,970
saying in the entire galaxy

681
00:23:17,970 --> 00:23:19,800
there was like a beacon set off

682
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,650
from the top of the jedi temple

683
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:22,620
that somehow

684
00:23:22,620 --> 00:23:24,740
even though it's like zillions

685
00:23:24,740 --> 00:23:26,450
of miles away and speed of

686
00:23:26,450 --> 00:23:28,630
light doesn't you know somehow

687
00:23:28,630 --> 00:23:29,980
it transcended the

688
00:23:29,980 --> 00:23:32,220
speed of light and every jedi

689
00:23:32,220 --> 00:23:34,570
in the entire galaxy just knew

690
00:23:34,570 --> 00:23:36,780
that the temple's the place i

691
00:23:36,780 --> 00:23:37,740
gotta bead

692
00:23:37,740 --> 00:23:39,480
man like there's something

693
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,310
going down and so they all got

694
00:23:41,310 --> 00:23:43,280
there and palps gave them their

695
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:44,380
complementary

696
00:23:44,380 --> 00:23:46,590
space covid vaccines and really

697
00:23:46,590 --> 00:23:48,370
what it was was a little you

698
00:23:48,370 --> 00:23:50,250
know like interstellar gps

699
00:23:50,250 --> 00:23:51,180
tracker for

700
00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:54,200
all of them and so you see he

701
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,880
planned this and so when the

702
00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,050
clones did gun down these jedi

703
00:24:00,050 --> 00:24:01,180
just rest

704
00:24:01,180 --> 00:24:04,210
assured that either palps

705
00:24:04,210 --> 00:24:07,530
himself or darth maul or or uh

706
00:24:07,530 --> 00:24:11,310
you know anakin slash darth vader

707
00:24:11,310 --> 00:24:13,340
later came back

708
00:24:15,180 --> 00:24:16,670
while they were still barely

709
00:24:16,670 --> 00:24:18,210
alive and cut them in half with

710
00:24:18,210 --> 00:24:22,040
a lightsaber could you imagine

711
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:22,940
if palps was really

712
00:24:22,940 --> 00:24:23,660
lazy like

713
00:24:25,740 --> 00:24:29,240
i have an idea ship the bodies

714
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,630
here wait you want us to do

715
00:24:32,630 --> 00:24:36,140
what sir ship the bodies here

716
00:24:36,140 --> 00:24:37,500
and then

717
00:24:38,860 --> 00:24:41,850
while you're doing that you

718
00:24:41,850 --> 00:24:45,240
construction guys i want you to

719
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:48,580
put four iron girders upright

720
00:24:48,580 --> 00:24:49,100
just

721
00:24:49,820 --> 00:24:53,080
far enough apart and just wide

722
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,540
enough to put a body of a two

723
00:24:55,540 --> 00:24:59,100
you know of a typical humanoid

724
00:24:59,100 --> 00:25:01,500
and just we're

725
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:03,930
gonna stack them so that there's

726
00:25:03,930 --> 00:25:05,650
a stack of bodies to the

727
00:25:05,650 --> 00:25:08,000
ceiling and then what i'm going

728
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:08,940
to do is i'm

729
00:25:08,940 --> 00:25:10,380
going to get a scissor lift

730
00:25:13,340 --> 00:25:15,740
and i will ignite my lightsaber

731
00:25:15,740 --> 00:25:17,940
and then just push the down

732
00:25:17,940 --> 00:25:20,140
button on the scissor lift

733
00:25:21,340 --> 00:25:23,590
we can save hundreds of souls

734
00:25:23,590 --> 00:25:25,500
in a single shot

735
00:25:27,900 --> 00:25:30,150
see people don't realize this

736
00:25:30,150 --> 00:25:32,410
but really all palps wanted to

737
00:25:32,410 --> 00:25:32,620
do

738
00:25:34,460 --> 00:25:35,610
was cut jedi in half with a

739
00:25:35,610 --> 00:25:39,010
lightsaber to give them their

740
00:25:39,010 --> 00:25:41,060
oneness with the force like

741
00:25:41,060 --> 00:25:41,980
they wanted

742
00:25:41,980 --> 00:25:43,650
i mean but obi-wan technically

743
00:25:43,650 --> 00:25:45,200
didn't get cut in half he just

744
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:46,620
got stabbed in the thumb

745
00:25:48,220 --> 00:25:50,680
no he got cut cross oh yeah

746
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:53,920
that's all right yeah because

747
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,380
darth vader felt bad that

748
00:25:56,380 --> 00:25:59,490
you know his mentor and friend

749
00:25:59,490 --> 00:26:03,410
never got to experience the

750
00:26:03,410 --> 00:26:07,420
full joy of a proper jedi death

751
00:26:08,620 --> 00:26:09,680
you know he was he was like the

752
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,750
last jedi i mean like all of

753
00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:14,220
his friends had gone before him

754
00:26:14,220 --> 00:26:15,020
you know

755
00:26:15,020 --> 00:26:17,470
he's an old man he's lonely you

756
00:26:17,470 --> 00:26:19,850
know he can't talk to anybody

757
00:26:19,850 --> 00:26:22,020
and i mean if the force goes

758
00:26:22,020 --> 00:26:23,260
show up and do

759
00:26:23,260 --> 00:26:24,790
talk to him all it's gonna make

760
00:26:24,790 --> 00:26:26,320
him do is remember the good old

761
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:27,670
days when he got to hang out

762
00:26:27,670 --> 00:26:28,300
with them

763
00:26:28,300 --> 00:26:30,370
and you know share space

764
00:26:30,370 --> 00:26:32,810
whiskey or blue milk so you

765
00:26:32,810 --> 00:26:34,860
know and somehow obi-wan

766
00:26:34,860 --> 00:26:37,100
managed to survive space

767
00:26:37,100 --> 00:26:39,610
covid nobody knows how he wasn't

768
00:26:39,610 --> 00:26:41,840
he wasn't vaccinated and yet

769
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,330
you know he somehow persevered

770
00:26:44,330 --> 00:26:45,820
through that and

771
00:26:45,820 --> 00:26:47,620
darth vader having such respect

772
00:26:47,620 --> 00:26:49,360
for his master because you know

773
00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:51,950
he could have just cut his cut

774
00:26:51,950 --> 00:26:53,520
his hands off or something you

775
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,560
know just cut off right at the

776
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,440
wrist wait dooku also didn't

777
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,300
get cut in half and neither did

778
00:27:00,300 --> 00:27:04,270
uh grievous well dooku got decapitated

779
00:27:04,270 --> 00:27:06,700
that's kind of like being cut

780
00:27:06,700 --> 00:27:08,860
in half no no i mean he can

781
00:27:08,860 --> 00:27:10,700
live on the outskirts of town

782
00:27:10,700 --> 00:27:12,220
What about Grievous?

783
00:27:13,180 --> 00:27:13,660
Grievous?

784
00:27:14,340 --> 00:27:16,020
It was a bug in a machine.

785
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,120
It was a bug in a suit.

786
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:18,800
Yeah.

787
00:27:19,020 --> 00:27:20,420
He deserved to get fried.

788
00:27:21,300 --> 00:27:22,970
But just to be on the safe side,

789
00:27:22,970 --> 00:27:24,140
you know, again, when the

790
00:27:24,140 --> 00:27:26,840
camera cut away, Obi-Wan walked

791
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:27,380
back over.

792
00:27:27,500 --> 00:27:29,630
After saying, so uncivilized

793
00:27:29,630 --> 00:27:31,900
and tossing the blaster away,

794
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:34,160
he walked back over, took out

795
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:34,920
his lightsaber.

796
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:36,940
After getting it from Cody.

797
00:27:36,940 --> 00:27:41,100
Yeah, and, you know, said, Cody,

798
00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:44,940
Cody, I've got to do something.

799
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:46,780
I'll be back in a minute.

800
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,130
And he walked over to Grievous,

801
00:27:49,130 --> 00:27:51,880
cut him in half with a lightsaber.

802
00:27:53,020 --> 00:27:55,180
And Dooku, to be honest, you

803
00:27:55,180 --> 00:27:57,560
know, we don't know.

804
00:27:58,100 --> 00:28:01,150
We don't know that Halps or

805
00:28:01,150 --> 00:28:03,720
Anakin didn't go back and cut

806
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:06,080
that body in half.

807
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,270
Yeah, because here's the thing,

808
00:28:08,270 --> 00:28:10,240
like maybe Anakin, you know,

809
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:12,100
felt bad, you know, maybe

810
00:28:12,100 --> 00:28:13,720
that moment where it was like

811
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:15,460
he felt bad for killing him.

812
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:17,430
It wasn't that he felt bad for

813
00:28:17,430 --> 00:28:18,580
killing him.

814
00:28:19,580 --> 00:28:21,260
It's that he felt bad that he

815
00:28:21,260 --> 00:28:23,900
didn't cut him in half.

816
00:28:24,740 --> 00:28:26,880
And so maybe he went back, you

817
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:28,820
know, feeling so bad, this

818
00:28:28,820 --> 00:28:30,080
guilt and shame.

819
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:31,700
Dooku might not have been a

820
00:28:31,700 --> 00:28:32,580
great guy.

821
00:28:33,460 --> 00:28:34,410
He might not have been the

822
00:28:34,410 --> 00:28:36,690
leader that he should have been

823
00:28:36,690 --> 00:28:38,540
or we wanted him to be.

824
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:41,000
But, you know, at one point he

825
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,500
was a good Jedi.

826
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:44,500
They talked about him in the

827
00:28:44,500 --> 00:28:47,000
temple with a sense of respect.

828
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,250
So maybe to make amends, before

829
00:28:50,250 --> 00:28:52,370
they got captured by Grievous

830
00:28:52,370 --> 00:28:54,860
and everybody, he went back and

831
00:28:54,860 --> 00:28:57,980
cut him in half with the lightsaber.

832
00:29:00,660 --> 00:29:01,640
But Han Solo didn't get cut in

833
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:02,780
half.

834
00:29:03,900 --> 00:29:05,410
Maybe he's like nearly headless

835
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:06,140
Nick.

836
00:29:06,820 --> 00:29:08,720
Because he did get stabbed

837
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:10,360
right in the middle.

838
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:12,430
And maybe when his body like

839
00:29:12,430 --> 00:29:14,750
hit the bottom of that cavern,

840
00:29:14,750 --> 00:29:16,400
it's split in half.

841
00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:18,280
I mean, it's within the...

842
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,140
He has no spine anymore.

843
00:29:20,860 --> 00:29:21,890
There's nothing to hold the

844
00:29:21,890 --> 00:29:24,240
chunks of meat together anymore.

845
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,850
So what probably happened was

846
00:29:27,850 --> 00:29:30,200
Kylo Ren stabs him right

847
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,800
through the middle.

848
00:29:33,620 --> 00:29:36,020
And then Han Solo falls, still

849
00:29:36,020 --> 00:29:39,780
alive, hits the ground and

850
00:29:39,780 --> 00:29:41,980
splits in half.

851
00:29:42,980 --> 00:29:44,400
It might not be a clean cut,

852
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,710
but he's still got cut in half

853
00:29:46,710 --> 00:29:48,840
with the lightsaber.

854
00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:50,060
What about Phasma?

855
00:29:50,780 --> 00:29:52,040
Nobody cares about Phasma.

856
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,340
I thought you were going to say,

857
00:29:55,340 --> 00:29:56,980
what about Leia?

858
00:29:58,360 --> 00:29:59,720
Oh yeah, what about her?

859
00:30:00,500 --> 00:30:00,940
Okay.

860
00:30:01,260 --> 00:30:02,540
Alright, so here's the deal.

861
00:30:03,460 --> 00:30:06,340
I mean, wasn't somebody in the

862
00:30:06,340 --> 00:30:08,440
room with her?

863
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:09,560
R2-D2.

864
00:30:09,900 --> 00:30:10,540
That's it.

865
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:11,780
Just R2-D2.

866
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:12,540
Okay.

867
00:30:12,820 --> 00:30:13,960
I've got you covered here.

868
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:15,920
So R2-D2.

869
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:18,900
We know that he's held a lightsaber

870
00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:19,500
before.

871
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:22,600
He stored it for Luke.

872
00:30:22,900 --> 00:30:24,620
Yeah, but he can only shoot it.

873
00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:25,340
He can't.

874
00:30:25,380 --> 00:30:27,400
He can't use it.

875
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:28,280
No, no, no.

876
00:30:28,420 --> 00:30:29,480
So here's what he does.

877
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:32,210
So ever since that day, R2-D2

878
00:30:32,210 --> 00:30:34,610
has always stored a backup

879
00:30:34,610 --> 00:30:36,620
lightsaber just in case.

880
00:30:37,540 --> 00:30:39,520
And so here's what happens.

881
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,080
I mean, we know that R2-D2 can

882
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,320
use like little things, like

883
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,480
little arms and whatnot that

884
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:48,460
pop out of his body to do all

885
00:30:48,460 --> 00:30:49,980
sorts of things.

886
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:52,340
So here's what happens.

887
00:30:53,180 --> 00:30:54,380
The panel for the lightsaber

888
00:30:54,380 --> 00:30:55,460
slides open.

889
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:57,860
He shoots it up into the air

890
00:30:57,860 --> 00:31:00,490
and it lands on the bedside

891
00:31:00,490 --> 00:31:02,280
right next to Leia.

892
00:31:03,660 --> 00:31:04,700
And he wheels over real slow,

893
00:31:04,700 --> 00:31:06,920
like, and he uses one of his

894
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:08,280
grabby arms.

895
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:10,200
He uses one of his, like, he

896
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:12,600
uses a lever to lift up the bedsheets

897
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:13,680
just enough.

898
00:31:14,740 --> 00:31:17,560
And then he takes one of his

899
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,980
grabby arms and just cuts her

900
00:31:20,980 --> 00:31:22,260
in half.

901
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,000
But surely someone would notice,

902
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:25,880
though.

903
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:28,000
Well, no, the body disappears.

904
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:29,460
She becomes one with the force.

905
00:31:32,900 --> 00:31:34,010
You could say, well, what about

906
00:31:34,010 --> 00:31:35,220
Luke?

907
00:31:35,740 --> 00:31:37,790
I mean, clearly, clearly, I

908
00:31:37,790 --> 00:31:38,900
mean, Luke.

909
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:41,200
He just has a heart attack.

910
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:42,140
Yeah, Luke.

911
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:43,620
Luke clearly just had a heart

912
00:31:43,620 --> 00:31:44,540
attack, right?

913
00:31:44,540 --> 00:31:46,720
You know, there's no way.

914
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:49,630
And here's what I'll get you on

915
00:31:49,630 --> 00:31:50,500
this.

916
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:52,010
Now, this is a breach in

917
00:31:52,010 --> 00:31:52,880
protocol.

918
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:54,650
All right, this is a breach in

919
00:31:54,650 --> 00:31:56,200
Jedi Heaven protocol.

920
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,390
But he managed to kind of just

921
00:31:58,390 --> 00:32:00,380
skirt the rule on this.

922
00:32:00,980 --> 00:32:01,930
So what they didn't show in the

923
00:32:01,930 --> 00:32:02,480
movie.

924
00:32:03,820 --> 00:32:04,410
All right, so Kylo Ren is

925
00:32:04,410 --> 00:32:07,140
getting all ragey and, you know,

926
00:32:07,140 --> 00:32:08,660
angry with Luke.

927
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:10,720
Because he's discovered Luke

928
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:11,560
isn't there.

929
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:13,850
Actually, they did show it in

930
00:32:13,850 --> 00:32:14,420
the movie.

931
00:32:15,020 --> 00:32:16,520
He took his lightsaber.

932
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:18,920
And he put it right through the

933
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:20,400
middle of Luke.

934
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:21,680
So.

935
00:32:22,460 --> 00:32:23,520
Yeah, but he just has a heart

936
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:24,260
attack.

937
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:25,080
No, no, no.

938
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:26,000
But you see.

939
00:32:26,860 --> 00:32:28,420
His spiritual body.

940
00:32:29,380 --> 00:32:30,260
What they didn't show.

941
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,010
So they showed him, like, kind

942
00:32:32,010 --> 00:32:33,300
of poking through Luke.

943
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,100
But it was really a longer shot.

944
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:36,600
Really, he started, like,

945
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:38,260
waving around back and forth.

946
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:39,640
So.

947
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:43,090
Luke's Jedi spirit was cut in

948
00:32:43,090 --> 00:32:46,080
half by a lightsaber.

949
00:32:47,300 --> 00:32:48,300
He had no reason to live

950
00:32:48,300 --> 00:32:49,520
anymore.

951
00:32:50,460 --> 00:32:52,940
He had fulfilled his destiny.

952
00:32:54,140 --> 00:32:55,540
Which was to be cut in half by

953
00:32:55,540 --> 00:32:56,460
a lightsaber.

954
00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:57,640
You see?

955
00:32:58,340 --> 00:33:00,000
All Star Wars is.

956
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:01,720
What about Moff Gideon?

957
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:02,860
Who?

958
00:33:03,460 --> 00:33:04,420
Moff Gideon.

959
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:05,060
Who?

960
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:07,620
The guy from Mandalorian.

961
00:33:08,620 --> 00:33:09,720
Okay, so.

962
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:11,370
Have we actually seen what

963
00:33:11,370 --> 00:33:12,520
happens to him?

964
00:33:12,740 --> 00:33:14,960
I think he falls down the shaft

965
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:16,580
and then gets blown up.

966
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:18,780
Okay, okay.

967
00:33:18,940 --> 00:33:20,420
Or he just gets blown up.

968
00:33:20,860 --> 00:33:21,120
So.

969
00:33:21,780 --> 00:33:22,850
You had to be paying close

970
00:33:22,850 --> 00:33:23,760
attention.

971
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:26,120
Oh, no.

972
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:27,800
So.

973
00:33:28,700 --> 00:33:29,620
What's her face?

974
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:31,480
Bo-Katan.

975
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:32,260
Bo-Katan.

976
00:33:33,260 --> 00:33:34,680
Bo-Katan's fighting.

977
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:36,520
Mando is fighting.

978
00:33:36,780 --> 00:33:37,800
They're both fighting.

979
00:33:38,900 --> 00:33:40,940
And he gets blown up.

980
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:43,300
And when Mando's back was

981
00:33:43,300 --> 00:33:44,360
turned.

982
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:46,370
Bo-Katan walked up with the

983
00:33:46,370 --> 00:33:47,400
dark saber.

984
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:48,960
And there wasn't much left.

985
00:33:53,060 --> 00:33:54,780
Yeah, that's right.

986
00:33:56,340 --> 00:33:57,320
Like I said, I think he fell,

987
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:58,320
though.

988
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:00,880
Well, here's the thing.

989
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:01,380
I mean.

990
00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:03,860
We don't know what happened.

991
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:04,440
I mean.

992
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:06,360
Somebody might have had a jetpack.

993
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:09,050
And might have flown down just

994
00:34:09,050 --> 00:34:11,600
before he hit the bottom.

995
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:13,130
And cut him in half with a

996
00:34:13,130 --> 00:34:14,220
lightsaber.

997
00:34:14,700 --> 00:34:16,990
Well, IG-11 didn't really get

998
00:34:16,990 --> 00:34:17,980
cut in half.

999
00:34:18,220 --> 00:34:20,440
He got blown apart in half,

1000
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:21,440
kind of.

1001
00:34:22,620 --> 00:34:22,920
Yeah.

1002
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:24,800
Also, what about the Ugnaught

1003
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,640
guy from The Mandalorian?

1004
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:27,740
Which guy?

1005
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:32,440
The pig guy that reprograms IG-11.

1006
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:33,520
Well.

1007
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:34,540
In the first season.

1008
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:35,700
Well, you know.

1009
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,220
He just got shot.

1010
00:34:37,780 --> 00:34:38,020
Yeah.

1011
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:38,560
But, I mean.

1012
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:39,340
He's not a Jedi.

1013
00:34:40,420 --> 00:34:42,730
What about Aunt Beru and Uncle

1014
00:34:42,730 --> 00:34:43,720
Owen?

1015
00:34:44,940 --> 00:34:45,400
Look.

1016
00:34:45,900 --> 00:34:46,240
Look.

1017
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:48,500
If you go online and look up.

1018
00:34:48,900 --> 00:34:49,480
You know.

1019
00:34:49,540 --> 00:34:51,720
The documentary called Troops.

1020
00:34:53,020 --> 00:34:54,000
Which, you know.

1021
00:34:54,060 --> 00:34:57,600
Is a documentary of the life of

1022
00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,220
stormtroopers.

1023
00:35:00,240 --> 00:35:01,860
In everyday patrol.

1024
00:35:02,380 --> 00:35:03,400
On Tatooine.

1025
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:05,200
Sandtroopers.

1026
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:06,180
Yes.

1027
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:07,340
You'll remember.

1028
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:08,760
That.

1029
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:10,320
Beru.

1030
00:35:10,700 --> 00:35:12,280
And Owen died.

1031
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,660
In a violent domestic dispute.

1032
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:17,870
She was upset that he wasn't

1033
00:35:17,870 --> 00:35:19,200
listening to her.

1034
00:35:19,300 --> 00:35:20,840
About Luke wanting to go off to

1035
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:21,740
the academy.

1036
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:24,460
The patrol showed up.

1037
00:35:24,500 --> 00:35:25,600
After getting a call.

1038
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:27,050
About like neighbors hearing

1039
00:35:27,050 --> 00:35:27,480
junk.

1040
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:28,820
And that's saying something.

1041
00:35:28,820 --> 00:35:29,820
Because in Tatooine.

1042
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:30,880
Your neighbors are like.

1043
00:35:31,580 --> 00:35:32,600
Miles away.

1044
00:35:32,900 --> 00:35:33,460
Like.

1045
00:35:33,980 --> 00:35:36,000
The Tusken Raiders were calling

1046
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:36,520
up.

1047
00:35:36,660 --> 00:35:37,760
The stormtroopers like.

1048
00:35:39,620 --> 00:35:40,180
Oh.

1049
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:41,500
Owen and Beru.

1050
00:35:41,540 --> 00:35:41,540
And Beru.

1051
00:35:41,540 --> 00:35:41,720
And.

1052
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:45,740
All right.

1053
00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:47,060
I guess we'll go over there.

1054
00:35:47,640 --> 00:35:48,000
So.

1055
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:49,640
You know.

1056
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,220
She grabbed a thermal detonator.

1057
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:51,860
And just.

1058
00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:53,140
Blew them both up.

1059
00:35:55,220 --> 00:35:55,840
You know.

1060
00:35:55,900 --> 00:35:56,060
That.

1061
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:56,560
That's.

1062
00:35:56,700 --> 00:35:57,720
That's the way it happened.

1063
00:35:58,900 --> 00:35:59,940
It's been proven.

1064
00:36:00,300 --> 00:36:00,740
So.

1065
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:00,940
No.

1066
00:36:01,020 --> 00:36:01,400
They didn't.

1067
00:36:01,660 --> 00:36:02,860
And they never showed up as

1068
00:36:02,860 --> 00:36:03,780
Force Ghost.

1069
00:36:03,900 --> 00:36:04,140
So.

1070
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:04,660
You know.

1071
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:05,100
They.

1072
00:36:06,100 --> 00:36:07,280
I thought of one.

1073
00:36:08,220 --> 00:36:09,180
Qui-Gon Jinn.

1074
00:36:10,340 --> 00:36:10,740
He.

1075
00:36:10,860 --> 00:36:11,880
He was basically.

1076
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,260
Cut in half with a lightsaber.

1077
00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:13,540
Nah.

1078
00:36:13,660 --> 00:36:14,920
He got stabbed in the stump.

1079
00:36:15,340 --> 00:36:16,860
He got stabbed in the stomach.

1080
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:17,320
But.

1081
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:17,800
Then.

1082
00:36:18,340 --> 00:36:19,040
Just after he loses

1083
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:20,340
consciousness.

1084
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:21,720
In that scene.

1085
00:36:21,820 --> 00:36:22,680
The camera cuts away.

1086
00:36:22,780 --> 00:36:23,440
And Obi-Wan.

1087
00:36:24,220 --> 00:36:24,580
You know.

1088
00:36:24,720 --> 00:36:26,260
In order to honor his friend.

1089
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:28,620
Cuts him in half with a lightsaber.

1090
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:30,440
Weren't we.

1091
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:31,940
Talking about Rey.

1092
00:36:33,940 --> 00:36:35,200
If only she had been cut in

1093
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:36,560
half with a lightsaber.

1094
00:36:38,720 --> 00:36:39,560
Wait a second.

1095
00:36:40,720 --> 00:36:41,640
Kylo Ren never got cut in half

1096
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:43,260
with a lightsaber.

1097
00:36:44,220 --> 00:36:45,180
I mean.

1098
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:48,160
Not on screen.

1099
00:36:49,720 --> 00:36:50,340
I mean.

1100
00:36:50,340 --> 00:36:51,820
Palpatine also didn't though.

1101
00:36:52,540 --> 00:36:54,620
We know Palp's got more clones.

1102
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,420
He'll always find a way back.

1103
00:36:58,320 --> 00:36:59,240
Palp's is the best.

1104
00:36:59,960 --> 00:37:00,180
But.

1105
00:37:00,300 --> 00:37:00,600
You know.

1106
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,240
Maybe for one of his clones.

1107
00:37:03,240 --> 00:37:04,090
It should be cut in half with a

1108
00:37:04,090 --> 00:37:05,180
lightsaber.

1109
00:37:05,620 --> 00:37:07,100
Just like walk up to the clone

1110
00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:07,680
tube.

1111
00:37:07,940 --> 00:37:08,880
Don't even wake him up.

1112
00:37:08,940 --> 00:37:10,420
Just walk up to the clone tube.

1113
00:37:11,100 --> 00:37:12,140
Take your lightsaber.

1114
00:37:12,980 --> 00:37:14,060
Straight through the tube.

1115
00:37:14,060 --> 00:37:17,440
Glass shatters everywhere.

1116
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:18,540
There's a liquid.

1117
00:37:18,720 --> 00:37:19,700
Like back to liquid.

1118
00:37:19,820 --> 00:37:20,420
Pouring all.

1119
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:21,560
Or clone liquid.

1120
00:37:21,660 --> 00:37:22,240
Whatever it is.

1121
00:37:22,300 --> 00:37:23,460
Pouring all over the place.

1122
00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:25,080
And then.

1123
00:37:26,460 --> 00:37:27,140
You know.

1124
00:37:27,300 --> 00:37:27,740
Palp's.

1125
00:37:28,420 --> 00:37:28,980
Nicely.

1126
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:30,000
Bisected.

1127
00:37:30,980 --> 00:37:31,760
By a lightsaber.

1128
00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:33,380
So that he can go to his

1129
00:37:33,380 --> 00:37:34,900
eternal reward.

1130
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:36,000
So.

1131
00:37:36,260 --> 00:37:37,540
The entire purpose.

1132
00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:38,660
Of Star Wars.

1133
00:37:38,660 --> 00:37:39,580
Or really.

1134
00:37:39,860 --> 00:37:40,620
The entire purpose.

1135
00:37:40,820 --> 00:37:41,200
Of Jedi.

1136
00:37:42,380 --> 00:37:43,560
The fulfillment.

1137
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:45,120
Of being a Jedi.

1138
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:46,880
Is.

1139
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:48,030
Getting cut in half with a

1140
00:37:48,030 --> 00:37:48,780
lightsaber.

1141
00:37:50,140 --> 00:37:51,220
Ahsoka Tano.

1142
00:37:51,580 --> 00:37:52,620
Get cut in half.

1143
00:37:53,240 --> 00:37:53,520
Who?

1144
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:54,200
Uh.

1145
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:55,580
She also didn't die yet though.

1146
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:56,080
So.

1147
00:37:56,780 --> 00:37:57,850
She'll get cut in half with a

1148
00:37:57,850 --> 00:37:58,940
lightsaber.

1149
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:00,920
They all do.

1150
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:07,000
I think we're good.

1151
00:38:07,900 --> 00:38:08,340
Okay.

1152
00:38:09,340 --> 00:38:10,240
Hey everyone.

1153
00:38:10,380 --> 00:38:11,740
Thank you for listening to this

1154
00:38:11,740 --> 00:38:13,540
special episode of Non-Topical.

1155
00:38:13,540 --> 00:38:13,660
Non-Topical.

1156
00:38:13,980 --> 00:38:15,540
If you like what you're hearing

1157
00:38:15,540 --> 00:38:16,080
here.

1158
00:38:16,340 --> 00:38:16,780
Please.

1159
00:38:17,100 --> 00:38:18,000
By all means.

1160
00:38:18,340 --> 00:38:19,220
Shoot us an email.

1161
00:38:19,500 --> 00:38:21,460
feedback@nontopical. com

1162
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:22,740
We'd love to hear from you.

1163
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:24,120
Let us know.

1164
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:25,800
What it is that you want to

1165
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:26,920
hear more of.

1166
00:38:27,300 --> 00:38:28,420
In 2026.

1167
00:38:28,420 --> 00:38:29,820
From us for this podcast.

1168
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:30,780
We'd love to hear that.

1169
00:38:31,260 --> 00:38:31,620
Also.

1170
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,100
If you do want to support us.

1171
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:34,460
We do believe in value for

1172
00:38:34,460 --> 00:38:35,000
value.

1173
00:38:35,720 --> 00:38:37,220
The way to support us.

1174
00:38:37,220 --> 00:38:37,220
The way to support us.

1175
00:38:37,220 --> 00:38:40,300
Is to go to

1176
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:41,620
https://ko-fi.com/nontopical

1177
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:43,000
Toss us a dollar.

1178
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:43,920
A two dollar.

1179
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:44,680
A five dollar.

1180
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:45,940
Whatever value.

1181
00:38:46,620 --> 00:38:47,680
You get out of the show.

1182
00:38:47,780 --> 00:38:48,460
Toss us that.

1183
00:38:48,540 --> 00:38:49,040
And return.

1184
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:50,480
Even a hypothetical.

1185
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:52,260
One thousand dollars.

1186
00:38:52,660 --> 00:38:53,920
If you're so inclined.

1187
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:54,280
Which.

1188
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:55,800
Would definitely.

1189
00:38:56,540 --> 00:38:56,800
Help.

1190
00:38:57,580 --> 00:38:58,600
Given the current.

1191
00:38:59,040 --> 00:38:59,900
Financial markets.

1192
00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:00,360
And everything.

1193
00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:01,540
But other than that.

1194
00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:02,620
I do want to thank you all for

1195
00:39:02,620 --> 00:39:03,280
listening.

1196
00:39:03,420 --> 00:39:04,740
Thank you for giving us a great.

1197
00:39:05,420 --> 00:39:05,820
2025.

1198
00:39:06,260 --> 00:39:07,340
And we look forward.

1199
00:39:07,820 --> 00:39:09,560
To chatting with all of you.

1200
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:10,360
In.

1201
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:11,600
2026.

1202
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:12,780
Take care.

1203
00:39:12,940 --> 00:39:13,880
And we'll catch you next time.

1204
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:14,800
For the next episode.

1205
00:39:15,060 --> 00:39:16,000
Of non-topical.

1206
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:17,000
Bye.