Happy Thanksgiving, sir.
All right.
That's the thing.
Did that already happen?
Or did that not happen?
Well, it's a thing that's
happening the month that this
will be coming out.
Yeah, but has it already
happened?
Has November already happened?
Well, at some point, yeah.
But it's like the second or
third Thursday of November.
So this episode will either be
airing just before or just
after it.
But happy Thanksgiving, sir.
For those who celebrate it.
Well, Canada celebrates just
before us.
I think it's like the week
before.
So what are you thankful for?
You know, this would have been
the perfect opportunity.
You know, I'm thankful that
killer robots haven't taken
over.
And that even if they did, I'm
thankful that they would be
wielding cheese quesadilla guns.
Okay.
All right.
You know, like I was going to
say, do I have to say it for
you?
I blanked.
I was beating you.
I was like, come on.
You're thankful for cheese quesadillas.
I've had a pretty good year.
I'm thankful for some of the
relationships that I've made
this year.
Or one in particular.
And for some of the cool stuff.
Hey, we started this podcast
this year.
Yay.
You know?
So that's something to be
thankful for.
But do you know who's not
thankful on Thanksgiving?
Um, the turkey?
The turkey.
And that got me to thinking.
We could turn this into a movie.
There's already a movie about
turkeys.
But about turkeys getting
revenge?
There's a movie about turkeys
going back in time to get
turkey off the menu.
No, no, no.
Or something.
This is more violent.
I'm thinking more.
I'm sure someone's done that,
though.
I don't care.
You know what?
We don't know that.
And even if it is right now,
even if there was, we don't
know about it right now.
So let me tell you about
something.
There's a little movie that was
on PBS back in the day.
And it was called The Hoboken
Chicken Emergency.
And it was about this giant
person-sized chicken that befriended
a young boy.
And people in the town wanted
to capture the chicken and all
sorts of other things.
And wanted to say that the
chicken was a threat.
Well, what would happen if you
had that?
But it was a turkey.
And what's wrong with normal
turkeys getting revenge?
Because I think we need to up
the factor of the reasons for
revenge here.
See, giant turkeys don't just
get created.
They're hybridized.
Just like giant chickens, like
today.
Giant chickens.
The chicken breast that you get
at the average grocery store is
from these chickens that have
been specifically bred over
time.
Radioactive chickens.
Basically.
And next time you're having
some soup that you made out of
chicken broth, just remember
that
you're drinking tasty,
delicious radioactive chicken
juice.
And that's where we start our
movie, sort of.
So we go to a science lab.
I swear, I swear we didn't plan
this ahead of time.
No, we didn't.
We go to a science lab.
Well, he did.
But I didn't.
I just had an idea.
By the way, Hollywood, this is
a random idea.
So we won't charge you as much
at the beginning.
We'll say, what, about $50,000
plus 5% of the gross.
Not $25,000.
In perpetuity.
All right, we'll start at $25,000.
We'll be nice.
Yeah.
$25,000, but still 5% of the
gross, including DVD, Blu-ray,
digital sales, all that.
In perpetuity.
We go to a lab.
And it's...
You can't use one of the actual
big chicken turkey manufacturer
names or, you know...
Because then you get sued.
You have to come up with a fake
name that combines two of them.
Like half of the name of one,
half of the name of the other.
Why don't we just call it Big
Egg?
Big Egg Co.
Big Egg, yes.
Big Egg Incorporated.
Big Bird.
No, wait, we can't use Big Bird.
Yeah, we can't use Big Bird.
We can't use Big Bird, no.
Big Egg Incorporated.
Big Egg Incorporated, okay.
And Big Egg Incorporated has
just discovered a new genetic
algorithm using CRISPR.
CRISPR?
Yes.
CRISPR is an actual technology
to do genetic tinkering.
Oh.
I'm not kidding.
So, turkey sales have been down
the past couple of years.
And, you know, people...
People just don't have enough
to be thankful for, it seems.
People want more.
They want more for their money.
They want bigger breasts.
Bigger thighs.
Really.
They want bigger everything.
They want it to be more flavorful,
too.
Because, let's be honest...
Turkey by itself...
Not really all that good.
I'm gonna be honest.
Like, turkey by itself...
Not a great meat.
Scientists...
Like, we...
Here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna...
Crack this code.
We're gonna find the right
genes to make some of the
biggest turkeys ever.
I'm sure nothing will go wrong.
And what we're gonna do is...
These turkeys are gonna be so
big...
We're gonna take a line from
Jurassic Park...
That we need to use ostrich
eggs to hatch them.
And so...
You have, like, one lone
scientist that comes in.
And this is before we even roll
credits.
Like...
Guys, are you sure you know
what you're doing?
Don't worry.
This is what the public wants.
And...
They inject...
They inject the egg...
With the special...
Genetic stuff.
And, of course, then we do a
stereotypical opening when it
comes to genetic manipulation
stuff.
You show the...
So you start rolling the
credits.
You show the DNA going in.
Yeah.
And starting to swirl around in
solution.
And then you show...
The cell's starting to divide.
And eventually...
You show it right as it's about
to hatch.
And then when it's hatched...
It hatches its beak...
You cut to its beak poking out.
Yeah.
With some horrific music.
And then you cut away.
It's like, okay.
And now you cut to kid.
Now, this kid...
How old do you think we should
make kid?
Uh...
Eight?
Eight.
Eleven?
All right.
We'll go with ten.
It's right between eight and
eleven.
Ten-year-old kid.
We'll give him glasses.
Because even today...
I'm...
You know, I don't know what it's
like in school these days.
I don't know what it's like for
real.
I don't know what the gritty...
But everyone knows that people
with glasses are nerds.
There we go.
I mean, there's the nerd emojis.
So I think that's still the
commensary of life.
So, you have nerdy kid.
He's getting tricked in the
hallways.
He's got a crush on little girl,
but would never say it because
at, you know, age ten...
His shoelaces are always in
time.
Yeah.
At age ten, you know, the girl
still might have cooties.
By the way, at the end of the
movie, I think that's a great
beat that you put in just now.
His shoes are always untied.
But then, by the end of the
movie...
It shows his shoes as being
tied.
That he's matured and grown
through this experience.
What experience is that?
On to you.
Okay.
On to you at the station.
Well, again, you gotta help me
out with this because I just
had an idea.
I didn't have a full story.
So, kid gets picked on.
You know, comes home.
Gets picked on at home.
His mom and his dad, you know.
Well, do we...
Do we...
We go with the cliche of he
doesn't have a dad.
Like, dad's out of the picture.
It's just mom.
And maybe a brother or sister.
Probably a sister.
Okay.
Just mom and older or younger
sister?
Older.
Older sister.
I mean, if you want to go with
the getting picked on.
Or you could go with the
younger if you don't want to do
that.
You know what?
Now, I don't want to have his
sister be a jerk to him.
I want her to sometimes be
annoyed with him.
But...
Or annoyed that she has to
babysit him.
But she actually cares.
Okay.
And...
So, he comes home.
You know, his mom is getting
ready to leave for her second
job.
Even though she was going to be
home that day.
And they were going to watch
his favorite movie together or
something.
Should he have a figure like
Uncle Buck?
No.
Think Gremlins.
But...
But less funny and more blood.
I was going to say, like...
What's the baseball one?
Sandlot?
Yeah, I was going to say, like,
Sandlot.
Like, turkey violence.
Yeah.
There's too many...
Too many kids deal with some
Sandlot.
Yeah.
All right.
But anyways...
The viewers...
The listeners know what we're
talking about.
Right.
Probably.
Kid's upset, though.
You know, she still...
His mom still made his favorite
meal.
Like, which is...
We'll say is Blue Box Mac and
Cheese.
Because every kid loves Blue
Box Mac and Cheese.
He's like...
No.
Like, it's not the same.
You won't be here.
His sister tries to comfort him.
She's like, hey, you know,
buddy, I'll be here with you.
It's not the same.
Mom's never here for me.
And he storms outside and, like,
their property is, like, right
up near the woods.
So he kind of runs out into the
woods.
Jimmy, come back.
I'm just saying Jimmy.
I don't know.
Like, we lose names like Jim
and John and whatnot a lot here.
Hold on.
We should give him an actual
name here.
What kind of like Jimmy?
No, it feels too typical.
Okay.
And it feels too ordinary.
We need to give him a name that,
like, would be worth making fun
of him, you know?
Terry?
Terry.
Terrence?
Yeah.
All right.
Terrence.
Yeah.
But Terry.
Terry, come back.
And he runs out into the woods.
And about that time, it pans
the camera over.
So the sister comes back.
She's like, oh.
You know what?
I would like to add something.
Sure.
Big Egg Incorporated, like,
their biggest factory is in
this town.
And it's the pride of the town.
Right, right, right.
Et cetera, et cetera.
They love their Big Egg Incorporated.
We're getting to that in a
moment.
So.
I figured.
Meanwhile, sister.
So kid runs out into the woods.
She's like, you know, I really
wish that, you know, he would
just have some self-esteem
or learn that, you know, we
could still be a family even if
he doesn't always get his way
or something like that.
And as she's saying that, the
camera pans over to the TV and
the local news is on because it's
around dinner time.
And it's like, Big Egg Incorporated
reported a serious accident
today in their science division.
Would Big Egg Incorporated
really report such an accident?
Well, yeah, because it was a
horrific accident.
And they would say, you know,
we've received reports from the
families of the injured workers
who have not received any
information about the nature of
the accident that their loved
ones were involved in.
We also reached out to Big Egg
Incorporated for comment, but
they refused to give any
comment
at this time.
They refused to elaborate
further.
They refused to elaborate
except to say that at Big Egg
Incorporated, we take pride in
our
our working conditions and in
the communities that we serve.
And we are going to thoroughly
investigate this matter in
order to determine how this
happened
and to prevent any future
instances.
That's all they comment, which
is a great technical, like a
great corporate speak thing.
And then, at that point, you
cut to Big Egg Incorporated's
like chairman board room.
Yeah.
It's like, how could you have
let this happen?
We spent months on this.
How could you have let this
happen?
We had one worker who was dead
and two other loved ones are
going to be suing us for
millions
of dollars.
What happened?
Well, we're still trying to
determine that, sir.
Well, I don't care what you do.
You need to go and get that
property back.
You need to go and find this
thing.
Well, sir, I'm just lowly
scientist, man.
Who do you expect me?
Well, I wasn't saying that you
need to do it.
Get me the cleaner or the
hunter or whatever.
Like, you have to have some
kind of name for the person you're
going to be calling up, you
know?
Oh, the tracker?
The tracker.
Or the trapper.
Get me trapper on the line.
Now.
And then you cut to Kid in
Woods.
And Kid is in Woods.
He's like over on a rock or
something, hanging out in the
woods, crying.
And he hears a noise.
He's like, who's there?
And it's the giant turkey.
It slowly kind of reveals
itself.
The giant turkey covered with
blood.
Kid doesn't know that that's
not the giant turkey's blood.
And he's a little bit
frightened at first.
So he jumps off the rock and
runs and hides behind a tree.
Does giant turkey look like
turkey?
Oh, of course.
Like, it's not standard by the...
No.
I mean, it's human-sized, but
it's a turkey.
Okay.
And it can't be, like, comically
done either.
It has to be...
Like, it cannot be...
It cannot look like a person in
a suit, even if it's a person
in a suit.
Like, even if you approach this
with really high-end animatronics,
it's going to look like a
turkey.
But the thing is that this
turkey's brain is bigger than
an average turkey's brain.
So obviously it's a little bit
smarter.
It might not speak human
because, I mean, bird anatomy
would make that difficult.
But it does have a sense of
being able to sense intent and
emotion.
And I think that what we do is
we make it seem like turkey's
friendly.
And it takes pity on kid.
But it isn't real.
This turkey just needs a place
to hop.
Like, this turkey's been out
for blood the entire time.
But we want it to seem as if it's
going to be...
Originally, I was going to have
it be like kid befriends turkey
and then that goes wrong.
But I think it's a better twist
to have it be like this is an...
We have to convey somehow, this
is an evil bird.
But kid, you know, gradually pokes
his head out and is like, hey,
are you okay?
Or like, where are you coming
from?
Where'd you come from?
And the turkey kind of like
turns to him and scratches an
arrow in the ground that points
towards the factory.
He's like, the turkey factory?
Oh, no.
Oh, geez.
And Thanksgiving's only two
days away.
You must be some kind of like
new thing that they're trying
to get out on the market.
And the turkey kind of like bobs
its head up and down.
And it's like, mm-hmm.
Yep.
Oh, I don't really have many
friends.
You could be my friend and I
could put you in the basement.
And like, I don't know how we
do this, but we'd have to make
it like ominous music as the
kid brings it back.
Because this is a situation
where kid is too young and dumb
to realize that he's befriended
a serial killer.
Or it could be like it sounds
like happy music, but it's
played in like a key or a chord
that makes it sound off.
Yep.
Or it starts off happy and then
it like has a little bit of dissonance
at the very end to make you
feel aww.
Yeah.
So, kid sneaks turkey home.
It's like, well, I don't know
what turkeys this size, you
know, eat or whatever.
Hey, you stay down here.
Or he cleans the turkey off
with the hose in the back, even
though it's like November, so
it's a little bit cold.
But oh, well.
Or we can do it in California.
Yeah, it's always warm in
California.
But anyway, kid hoses turkey
off, puts him in the basement,
and there's obviously stairs
that go out.
And he ends up going upstairs
to try to find food.
In the meantime, we cut to the
tracker.
And he's got...
Also, would Trapper...
Trapper.
Would Trapper have the same
personality, like a similar
personality to...
Trapper from M.A.S.H.?
No.
But I will say this with the
Trapper.
Initially, we think he's going
to be the Bat Guy.
But he's actually kind of going
to be the hero.
And he's going to end up befriending
the kid and maybe, you know,
off-camera getting together
with his mom and whatnot.
Okay.
So he's got his special tracker.
And it's like, huh, I've traced
the creature's signal to these
woods.
And then he traces it to the
backyard.
And then it's like, well, but
the signal dies here at this
backyard.
I wonder what's going on.
And the kid is kind of looking
out the window.
And it's like, huh.
You know?
And so Trapper calls it in.
He's like, guys, we're going to
need a recovery team at this
address.
And he knocks on the door.
And, you know, kid's sister.
And, well, you know, hey, have
you...
Look, I work for this company.
And we, you know, we're just
looking to see if anything
unusual...
No, like, I haven't seen
anything unusual.
Well, just like, you know, you
know, we can't reveal the exact
nature of what we're looking
for.
But let's just say that...
It'll be unlike anything you've
ever seen before.
Yeah.
It's something valuable and
dangerous.
Okay.
Well, I'll keep my eyes open.
Meanwhile, like, brother is
here.
He's like, no.
So, God leaves.
He's like, still, send this
team.
You know, we need to get here
soon.
And kid's like, no, sis, you
can't do that.
Like, I found the creature and
it's a giant turkey.
And she's like, yeah, okay.
And meanwhile, like, turkey can
kind of hear this through the
floorboards.
It's like, oh, no.
The guys are coming.
It decides to wait in the
corner of the basement, like,
right near the doors.
So, when they come down the
stairs, they're going to get it.
And you hear this music play.
Again, kid is like, no, like,
we got to save him.
So, team shows up.
And somebody knocks on the door
again.
Hey, we actually tracked this
thing here.
We didn't want to tell you
earlier.
You're in extreme danger.
You need to evacuate the
premises immediately.
Like, this thing is somewhere
here.
Well, my brother said, and this
sounds really weird, but he
said that there was a giant
turkey or something.
And I know that when he's tried
to hide stuff from our parents
in the past, he hid it in the
basement.
And they're like, okay, thank
you.
You need to get out of here.
So, the two guys go down into
the basement.
Like, there's two guys with
machine guns.
And they just get slaughtered.
This thing jumps out.
Would there be any screams?
Oh, of course.
No, you're going to show this.
Yeah.
Like, first thing, like, it
immediately takes out the first
guy by taking his beak and,
like, just slicing through the
guy's jugular vein.
There's blood spurting all over
the place.
The other guy starts, like,
trying to open fire but can't
see.
Well, I should not be able to
see that well.
Like, the actual scene because
it's dark in the basement.
Well, yeah, it's dark.
But there has to be just enough
light, like, maybe from the,
what do you call it, the muzzle
flashes and stuff.
And then you hear, like, a,
like, it's like a velociraptor
but it's a turkey.
So, and then the turkey runs
outside and little boy sees it
and decides to follow it, which
is a really bad idea at this
point because clearly this
thing is just a straight-up
killer.
Like, it knows what people are
after it for.
And Trapper, like, pulled
sister aside.
He's like, where did your
brother go?
She's like, I don't know.
And Trapper's like, look, I
didn't want to tell you this
but that was no accident at the
lab.
What happened was we created
this giant mutant turkey to
give people more for
Thanksgiving.
You know, the whole community
says, well, that doesn't seem
too bad.
That doesn't seem to, yeah.
But it's smart.
And it all went wrong.
It all went wrong.
It figured out our plans.
And it, it wanted to live.
And it butchered one person and
severely injured two.
It's just like, oh, come on.
I don't know if I believe that.
And he's like, well, you said
it was in the basement, right?
Alpha team, report in.
Alpha team.
And they go downstairs.
She turns on the lights.
And there's just like, oh, the
horror.
Oh, the horror.
We don't even want to describe
it here on this podcast.
Well, let's just say there's
blood.
There's guts.
There's organs.
There's entrails.
There's everything.
All over the place.
And the girl takes one look and
screams.
And he's like, where did your
brother go?
She's like, I don't know.
He's like, well, we better find
him.
Meanwhile, it's, it's the
turkey's one loose end.
Meanwhile, the turkey, the
turkey sees the boy tucks and
is like tucking him under his
wing, running with him to an
abandoned building nearby.
And they happen to encounter
like two or three other people,
not like even members of the
turkey company, not members of
Big Egg, but just like they're
talking about like, did you
hear about that accent, Big Egg?
Yeah, that's, that's pretty
terrible.
And the fact that they're all
asking us to keep our eyes open
for anything strange.
And the turkey just runs out
and mauls these people.
And the kid can see.
Oh, yeah.
Like the kid's under the wing,
but it can, the kid can still
see.
He's like, no, what are you
doing?
What are you doing?
And he's just like tearing
these people apart right in
front of the kid.
Turkeys these days have no
sense of decency.
Yep.
And then the turkey's making
for this structure that is like
a rundown place that kind of
looks like a chicken poop, but
it's like bigger.
It's like an old rundown
factory or warehouse or
something.
Maybe it's like a water wheel
thing.
Right.
And then, so now Trapper is
with the sister and he's like,
you know, I think I have an
idea where this thing might
have went.
And if we have any chance of
saving your brother, we're
going to need to go alone.
Because going in with a team is
not going to help.
She's like, I'll do whatever
you say.
And they get in his car and
they drive off.
Now, meanwhile, I got to figure
out how do we put kid in
turmoil?
Like, how do we put him in
danger in such a way that, like,
he's not actually being killed
by the turkey, but it's
something that the turkey could
actually set up.
Maybe the turkey had babies.
Hmm.
That's a good idea.
So turkey somehow is, oh, and
that gives us a cliffhanger at
the end because turkey is
clearly a girl turkey, which
means there had to be a guy
turkey.
So anyway.
And maybe there's just one egg
left.
Or one egg left.
Yeah.
But so turkey.
I mean, it is a genetically
modified turkey.
Who says that it needs a male
turkey?
Okay.
So turkey has secret clutch of
eggs in this place and leaves
the boy there to be food for
the hatchlings.
And the boy kind of gets a
sense because one of them, I
think, is going to hatch.
Yeah.
We're going to have one of them
hatch.
At least.
At least one hatches and tries
to attack him.
And he has to get injured a
little bit, but not enough like
he's severely injured because
he has to obviously fight back
at some point.
It bites his arm or his leg.
Yeah.
Something.
So anyway.
So he gets brought to the nest
and he's still not like he
thinks that the bird is scared.
He's sketchy and he's not sure
if the bird is truly good or
evil, but then he sees the eggs
and he's like, oh, I see.
You're just protecting your
babies.
And door closes behind him.
Door closes behind him.
You can hear the thunk of the
wood outside.
And you hear some scratching
inside the eggs and stuff.
And he's like, oh, they're
going to hatch soon.
It left me here to babysit.
Meanwhile, you cut to Trapper.
Trapper is like, all right, let
me just take out my tracker
here.
And he takes out the tracker.
Sure enough, it's pointing
right to that bill.
Well, why do you think it came
here?
Well, just look at the place.
It looks like a giant chicken
coop.
And so he's getting ready.
He's like, I got to go in there.
And she's like, is there
anything I could do?
And he's like.
Keep a good eye out.
Keep an eye out just in case.
Oh, and here.
Have you ever used a gun before?
Trust me.
You might need it.
So she's outside.
And cut back to Kid and the
eggs.
Suspenseful music is playing.
And the eggs start, like,
cracking.
And one of them hatches.
He's like, oh, hi there, little.
And so, like, Kid is in this,
like, room.
But it's also kind of like a
cape.
So he starts, like, climbing up
the mesh walls.
Oh, I felt like there might be,
like, a staircase or something.
All right, maybe there's a
staircase.
And then he can kick the
pursuing chick all the way down.
So he kicks the chick down.
Maybe he finds, like, a fire
axe.
I mean, it would have to be
something that would make sense
in, like, a water wheel mill
thing.
Because that's what I imagine
it being.
Something like that.
Well, yeah, but you still, if
it's a warehouse or a water
wheel type place, you still
have to have something for fire.
Something.
Like, fine.
It's like a crowbar thing to be
able to, like, open valves and
stuff.
Yeah.
But he goes and he, like,
knocks the first baby
unconscious.
And it shows him smashing the
eggs, but it doesn't really
show it, like, on camera.
Yeah.
So you're presuming he gets all
the eggs.
And maybe some stuffed sweaters
on his face.
Yeah, some stuffed sweaters.
Well, yeah, it would have to be
a combination of yolk.
And blood.
And, of course, like, mama
turkey hears this and comes
back.
And it's, like, screeching.
So tracker guy comes in and he
hears the kids screaming.
And, like, luckily the kid's
out of the big turkey's reach.
He crawls up into a crawl space
or something.
Yeah.
And.
He crawls in between some cogs
and gears.
Yeah, he gets under the water
wheel, like, where he can slip
through and, like, end up
outside.
Yeah.
So he escapes.
And.
But he circles back.
So he circles around.
Turkey is now left to face
tracker.
Tracker's like, all right, this,
this ends now.
And the turkey is like.
You know.
And lunges at him.
And they start fighting.
And the turkey eventually
scratches him.
And the guy's gun goes flying.
And he, like, makes a break for
it.
Meanwhile, sister, like, hears
all the commotion.
She gets out of the car and is,
like,
standing there listening.
And all of a sudden she sees
tracker coming out.
And he's like, get the gun.
And so he's running towards the
car.
She's running towards him.
But she trips and falls.
Dun, dun, dun.
And the gun goes flying.
And she sees turkey, giant
turkey, going for the tracker
guy.
And tracker, like, flips over.
And, like, tracker then, like,
is running.
And the turkey kind of does,
like, a weird hop fly thing.
Because it can't truly fly.
Yeah.
And knocks him over.
So he sprawls out on his
stomach.
It looks like it's all over.
He flips over.
And is ready to, like, hold up
his arm to the attacker.
And that's when, bang, you hear
a shot.
And it's Terrence with the gun
shooting the turkey.
And the turkey looks, turns
around quickly and screeches.
Like, it hit one of his wing.
And it starts running.
And Terrence just keeps going,
bang, bang, bang.
And finally, the turkey falls.
And tracker comes over.
This feels a little bit too
short to be a movie.
Well, you know, we're doing
what we can with the time and
ideas that we have.
Obviously, we'd have to flesh
this out more.
We'd have to have more time for
tracker to build a relationship
with the kids.
And we haven't brought the mom
into it at all.
Yeah, but she went to work, you
know.
Like, she can't really be that
involved with it.
But tracker guy is like, ah,
you did good, kid.
You did real good.
You should be proud of yourself.
I killed my own new friend.
And then the kid goes, we have
to have, this is the campy line
part.
The kid's like, well, it looks
like we'll be eating good for
Thanksgiving this year.
Hey, would you like to come to
dinner?
Or would you like to come to
Thanksgiving with us?
And he's like, I don't have
anywhere else to be.
It seems like there'll be
plenty of food.
And then it cuts to them, you
know.
So does he get fired at some
point?
I don't know.
Like, you know, I guess you
have the company call him at
some point.
I mean, because he killed the
merchandise.
Trevor, what happened?
It's been neutralized.
But we have millions of dollars
in that.
Sir, trust me.
There was no other way.
Click.
So it's not like we leave
ambiguous whether he got fired
or not.
But then you cut to them having
this wonderful Thanksgiving
meal.
And like, you know, hey, this
is the best turkey we've ever
had.
And we're able to donate tons
to the local food shelter, too.
Yeah.
And you have them smiling at
each other, laughing, whatever.
And then as they're laughing
and stuff, it drowns out.
And you have, like, the camera
go through the woods, go to
that water wheel place.
And there's one egg that the
kid missed.
Or it rolled off.
It rolled off into a corner or
something.
Yeah.
And it hatches.
And you hear the...
And that...
It cuts to black.
Well, I know what this sounds
like.
What's it sound like?
Sounds like it would be a cult
classic at some point.
Yeah.
It wouldn't do well at the
start.
It probably wouldn't initially
do well.
You're right.
Yeah.
But that's why we get 5% in
perpetuity.
So, you know what?
I don't know that the cost is
going to go off that much from
$25,000.
I think that they...
Unfortunately, inflation isn't
as bad today.
Well, not just that.
But I just don't think that the
money is there.
So, maybe at most $50,000 for
the idea.
Plus the 5% of the gross.
But this will...
Hollywood.
We're being generous.
This will be a sleeper classic.
Yeah.
And I think the point is, is
that, yes, it still needs to be
fleshed out.
But we've gotten a majority of
the story there.
Yep.
And I think that it really...
Maybe we have to have some more
deaths.
Yeah.
We have to have the turkey,
like, maybe kill some people
prior to the case.
The turkey could cause a
traffic jam.
Yeah.
Yep.
Like, maybe show it killing
some of the security guards or
something.
And also, the turkey could
cause a traffic jam so that the
tracker and the girl couldn't
get there as quickly.
Right.
Maybe it, you know, kills a
hunter in the woods.
Yeah.
So, we build up...
We killed a taxi driver.
Yeah.
We build up some tension.
We don't want to have it to be
too comedic.
But I think that the idea has...
Merit.
Has merit.
Has legs.
And this could be made fairly
cheap if you...
Or like turkey legs.
Yeah.
Of course.
That's why I said it that way.
I'm feeling it in my giblets.
Hmm.
So, hey, Hollywood.
Look, this would be cheap to
make.
You just need to have somebody
that does some great animatronics.
Not that expensive to make.
You can make a little bit of
profit on it initially.
But, like, look for the DVD and
Blu-ray sales.
And streaming.
I swear you'll hit it, babe.
The streaming on Tubi.
Those sweet, sweet
advertisement money, you know?
Yep.
This, actually, this would be a
Tubi original.
It would go straight to Tubi.
But then Tubi, we would still
recommend.
Get the Blu-rays out, you know?
Like, do a Tubi release of a
bunch of stuff as a Blu-ray
collection.
Like, the Tubi signature
collection.
I think that would be amazing.
They need to do that.
So, once again, I think that we
have great ideas here.
And if you have great ideas,
feel free to email us at...
feedback@nontopical.com .
That's right.
Feedback@Nontopical.com.
And we also believe in a little
something known as...
Value for value.
Which means if you get value
out of the show...
Please show some value in
return.
It doesn't matter what it is.
We're perfectly happy with
anything from just an email to,
you know, a hypothetical $1,000.
That's just the way things go.
So, hey, we appreciate anything
you can send our way.
This is really just a labor of
boredom and love for us.
Yeah.
And so, we're going to keep
doing this anyway.
But if you like it, we'd love
to hear that.
Anyway, that about wraps it up
for episode 15.
Yeah.
Or is it 16?
It's 15.
Probably.
Probably 15.
Anyway.
Hey, do you know what giant turkeys
like to eat?
What?
Cheese quesadilla.
I thought I already said that
this time.
Well, I'm stealing.
All right.
Well, thanks for listening,
everyone.
Bye.